Name Troubles...

Okay, let me start out by saying that since Dakota's birth I have been struggling with a case of the "baby blues."  I am irritable and emotional... I seem to burst out into tears more than I care to admit. I'm not depressed, but certainly not myself.

I can't really pin point why... Perhaps hormones, lack of sleep, or a combo... Whatever the reason, it's real and I'm really ready to get over it. 

I mentioned before that I wanted to name our baby Hezekiah... I called him that while he was in my womb... Well, my grief process in getting over that name coupled with my baby blues has led this mama to a semi-crisis. I am not sure we named him the right name, but I don't feel like we can change it...

I love the name Dakota Lincoln... I think it is a very cute name. I like that with that name he has my initials which he will be the 4th generation to have DLD. I really like that and fear I will regret not having that if we should change his name. I also worry it would hurt my dad's feelings. I love the little boy (now teenager) named Dakota who. Was the ring bearer in our wedding. I would feel bad if changing his name was a disappointment to that family. My only struggle with the name Dakota is i am not sure it is "his" name... 

Hezekiah is an awesome king from the Bible... That's it. No personal connection or family story. I love that it is unique (more so than Dakota) and he won't get mistaken for a girl. However, while Jason is willing to change his name for me... He would prefer Dakota. My kids know Dakota's name... So I would feel incredibly selfish to change it when I alone am feeling like we might have made the wrong choice. I can't explain my connection to the name Hezekiah, but it is intense. I feel a loss when I think about not naming my baby that, but now that we've called him Dakota for three weeks I would feel a loss over that name too. Basically, I've made this a lose-lose situation and I really have no idea what to do. Jason is willing to support officially changing his name, but I don't know what to do, but feel bad either way. 

I mentioned changing his name to the kids and Havana and Selah came up with Dakiah... At this point, i am considering all possibilities. Ha. 

 

Thoughts? 

Funnies

Jonah is a naturally funny boy... Things he says along with his expressions can just send me into hysterics. The best part is he doesn't realize how funny he is. For example, whenever he pretends he is on the phone he dials and then says, "hoes the traffic?" Which is what we asks our phones almost daily. 

The other day he came up to me with his hands behind his back and he said, "look mom, I'm a glover!" And he held up his hand to show him wearing a pink glove. He said it was so he could touch dirty things. :) 

He is also very into Legos and tying knots. Jason said, "I think he missed his calling... He could have been a executioner in the 1800's. He is constantly tying his toys up and hanging them from somewhere. And, the other night I walked upstairs to find his karate belt tied to the top of havana's bed... The other part was around HIS neck and he was on her stairs about to jump. I laugh now, but seriously he could have died if I didn't check on him. 

Dakota Update

Last Tuesday, the 9th, I took him to the doctor. I told her my concern about his tongue (it seems "tight" and short) and she said that if he latches okay, she wouldn't do anything about it right now. He latches fine and so guess we will see if he stretches it out as he grows. 

He weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce. She asked me to come back in one week for a weight check. I took him back this past Tuesday and he was up to 9 pounds, 1 ounce! 

He is such a prescheduled baby! He eats every two hours around the clock. He is pretty good about having awake time before falling asleep. Most of my babies I have had to train to get them on a regular cycle, but he just seems to think it is the norm. 

I developed mastits last week... And now all of us (except Jason) have a really nasty head cold. Praying Dakota stays healthy through it. 

We are all adjusting well. Tuesdays and Thursdays are still weird without Havana. I had a bought of the "baby blues" where I would just burst into tears and felt very disconnected with Dakota. I even asked Jason if they could have mixed up our baby at the hospital or if we could change his name to Hezekiah since I felt more connected to him by that name. Thankfully most of that has past. 

I can't believe he will be two weeks old tomorrow!! He has had his first bottle, gone to church and Bible study, went to a friends house for dinner. We even have him his first bath yesterday (much needed). 

Dance

The other day, Havana and Jonah were playing in the basement by themselves when all of a sudden I heard Jonah screaming. Havana ran up the stairs and when I asked her what happened she said,

"Well, Jonah wants to play tag and I don't want to so I told him no. He wants to play tag, but I can't play tag with him because I am just so full of dance!" 

She was dancing to music and didn't want to stop dancing to play tag. I tried to tell her the importance of playing together, but I couldn't help but chuckle at her "so full of dance," line. 

A picture of Havana from her recital this summer. 

Introducing...

Dakota Lincoln Dugger!

Our family welcomed our latest miracle into the family on Friday, Sept. 5th at 1:29pm. He was 8 pounds, 10 ounces and was 21 inches long.

I arrived at the hospital at 4:30am and after all the paperwork and other essentials were out of the way, they began the induction process at 5:55am by starting me on some pitocin. At 9:55 I had progressed 4 cm and they broke my water. At 1:25pm, they checked and I was 10 cm... the nurse wanted me to push before the doctor got there but I declined. The nurse said the baby was still "high" but I repeated that I didn't feel comfortable pushing without the doctor.

I'm glad I waited because my doctor came in, and I gave a little push, and the baby was born at 1:29pm. Truly, I love birthing babies. ha.

I remember thinking the new baby looked really slimy and that he looked like all the others. "He Looks like a dugger," I said.

Jason and I really struggled to agree on a name for this baby. During the labor, we had a running list of about 8 names and we slowly began to cross them off. For several months, I prayed for this baby using the name "Hezekiah" and I would often refer to him as that in my mind. I really wanted to name him that, but Jason was never "at peace" with it but had nothing else to offer.

Finally, by 10pm on the day of his birth, we had it narrowed down to Hezekiah James or Dakota Lincoln. I was up all night with the baby... unsure what his name was, but I couldn't help but think he looks "more like a Dakota" -- I knew I would have to go through a grief process with the name Hezekiah simply because I had referred to the baby for so long under that name, but I prayed and ultimately, I wanted the name that the Lord picked out for the baby.

Dakota means "friend to all" and so I pray that our Dakota will grow up and be a friend to all so that he will be able to share Jesus with many. Giving him the name also gives him my initials, and I have my dad's initials and he has his dad's initials... so I would be able to carry on the DLD tradition. I have always loved the name Dakota since I used to babysit an incredibly cute boy by that name - he was the ring bearer in our wedding. Before we were married I always said I wanted to name my child Dakota, but over the years, I kind of moved away from that... so it was funny when Jason suggested Dakota. Lastly, and kind of silly, but Havana often asks me why her name is the only one of the Dugger children whose name is not found in the Bible. She has seen Selah, Asa, and Jonah... why not Havana? In that moment, I read to her the Great Commission and share with her that her name is "kind of" in the Bible... but it is a stretch. So, this gives us two children who have non-Biblical names rather than simply one in 5.

Lincoln comes from Abraham Lincoln... such a wonderful, God-fearing president who happens to be Jason's favorite president and a relative of mine.

Dakota is doing wonderfully... and the older children are too! I am very impressed with how well Asa has adjusted to being a big brother because I was pretty sure he was going to struggle. And Selah, well she has loved the baby since it has been in my belly. In fact, she refers to it as "my baby" and wants it to sleep with her. When she came to visit us in the hospital, she secretly packed a green ball that she thought the baby would want. I think her exact words were, "I think Baby Dakota likes balls" I was so impressed by her little heart. Havana has wanted to hold the baby often and Jonah... well, he is typical Jonah, who talks a lot about the baby, but keeps his distance as well.

I still can't get over being a mama! The Lord has truly blessed me beyond measure.

Highlands Latin

Dear Havana,

Well, you did it! You are now a Kindergartener! You began your first day of school in September 2nd! Mommy and Daddy were able to get a sitter for the other children and we walked you to your class! After we dropped you off, where you did look a little timid, we went to the chapel to wait for your opening school ceremony. You marched into bagpipes and snare drums! You were clearly very excited. 

Your teacher's name is Mrs. Driggs and you sit at a table next to Ashlin. I thought that perhaps you would be sad a little throughout the day since you have never been away from home before, but Mrs. Driggs said you had such a sweet attitude and you said that you "LOVED going to Highlands Latin" and you "can't believe you get to go back on Thursday!" 

I was so proud of you! And we chose HLS because of time you will get to spend at home. On Wednesday we completed your homework and you were also able to go to the zoo and pool with daddy! 

Thursday was another successful day at school! I dropped you off and daddy picked you up! Your first week was a success and I am so very proud of you!