Sunday, June 27, 2010

Proposal Story

In honor our of the anniversary of the day Jason proposed to me (June 26th)... I thought I would take a stroll down memory lane and post the story of his proposal.

Jason's summer break between his 2nd and 3rd year of medical school was coming to a close. He was to start back on Monday, June 28th. As we were making plans for his last weekend of "freedom" Jason said, "how about I plan the date for Friday night and you can plan the date of Saturday night." I agreed and wondered to myself if Friday night would be the night he would propose to me. I knew Jason wanted to marry me, but I didn't know when he was thinking would be a good time (during or after medical school). If he wanted to get married while he was still in medical school - then a proposal had to be coming soon.... :)

Friday, June 25th:

We spend the day in the pool at my apartment complex with several friends. By the time everyone left, I was not feeling very well at my. My body was killing me from my MS. I told Jason I was going to get ready for our date. He kept saying we didn't have to go out since I was feeling so poorly, but wanting to see what he had planned (and if there was going to be a proposal...) I said I felt okay enough to go out. However, as I continued to get ready, I broke down and started crying from the pain. Jason came into the room and said we really didn't have to go out. I again told him I wanted to go. He responded with, "why don't we just rent a movie and get take out? I don't have anything special planned anyway." And with that, my heart sank, there would be no proposal anytime soon. So, I resolved to just renting a movie and taking it easy.

Saturday, June 26th:

I woke up feeling better and drove over to Jason's apartment in the late morning. He was in a Saturday Morning Bible study with a group of guys and so I waited for him to return from that. We hung out for a little bit and then he asked what the plans were for the evening since it was my turn to plan the date. I told him to pick me up at my place around 4pm. He did so. I was wearing a little sun dress - he was wearing khaki pants and a nice top. We went to the movies where we watch the romantic movie "The Notebook." After it was over, we went to dinner at Martinis in the Summit. It was a beautiful summer evening and we were able to eat dinner outside. After dinner, Jason suggested we get dessert at the chocolate shop next door. We got 6 chocolate covered strawberries to go. As we were driving back towards my apartment and Jason said, "it is really such a pretty night; would you want to go to a park and walk around?" I said sure. We drove to Papa John's Park - which we had nicknamed "our park" since we went there together A LOT. Often times just to relax and have a picnic lunch, but a few times when we were in a serious argument we would go there and not leave until we had things resolved. We had lots of memories at that park. We took a nice stroll enjoying the beautiful evening hand-in-hand and eating our strawberries.

On our way out of the park, Jason misses the turn for the highway. I asked him where we are going and he said he really had to go the bathroom. To be honest, we had just returned less than a week earlier from a mission trip down to Cuba and Jason's stomach had been acting up since that trip. We pass by two gas stations so I ask again where we are going. He said, "To church." I question him in why he didn't just stop at the gas stations and he said, "because the bathrooms at church are cleaner." I looked at him funny because I am picky and never use public bathrooms, but Jason is not one who cares about that sort of thing. Then I pointed out that the church would probably be locked seeing as it was already after 10pm. He convinced me it would be open despite my doubts. To my surprise it was open and I asked if he wanted me to wait in the car - he said, "no, it might be a while, just come on in." So I went in. There was a security guard sitting at the desk and so I start talking to him while Jason goes to the bathroom. I told him how confused I was that Jason was going to the bathroom at the church this late at night and he responded with, "oh don't worry about it - people do it all the time." Jason finally came out and as we started to head back to the car Jason stopped and asked if I wanted to do our devotion there. That wasn't an uncommon request - we usually did a devotion together everyday and we loved to do them in different places. So, Jason gets out a Bible and he reads to me from Ezekiel and we talked about the passage. Again, nothing uncommon. Then, he flips the Bible to the Ephesians 5 passage about marriage and reads that out loud. Then he walks a few steps, grabs a hidden guitar, and starts playing a song that I had heard him play for several months - a song he had written. However, instead of just playing the chords like he had done in the past... he starts singing,

"If I could take away all your pain
If I could make you feel all brand new inside
If I could wipe away your tears
And help you forget all of the times you’ve cried

You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would

If I could live my life with you
We’d serve the Lord in all the things that we do
If I could reach the lost with you
And teach them all about God’s Love and his Truth.

You know I would
You know I would
You know I would
For you, I would

And I’ve dreamed of this day
For such a long, long time
But Darby, I never dreamed
That YOU could be mine.

And I’m so thankful just to have you in my life.
I’m so very thankful just for you.

So if I asked you to be my bride
And if I asked you to stand by my side.
And if I got down on my knee (which he did during this line!)
And if I asked you, “Will you marry me?” ………………..

And with that he stopped singing and playing and waited for my response. I hesitated just a moment, not out of fear, but because I didn't want to interrupt his song - he finally said, "well?" I smiled and said, "YES." He stood up and said, "good. Then you can have this." and with that he handed me a small velvet box. I opened it up and saw my beautiful engagement ring! I had made sure not to tell Jason what I wanted in a ring, but if I had told him everything I wanted - this ring would be it. It was perfect! From the shape of the main diamond to the diamonds all around the sides to the unique engravings on the band... perfect. I put it on and that is when I realized that Jason proposed to me at the very spot where we had met at Southeast Christian Church on January 22, 2002. What a perfect place to propose since our faith was the foundation of our relationship!

We were married six month later at the same church where Jason sang me another song... but perhaps I'll write more about that story in another post. :)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

May and June update...

The month of May brought a lot of changes to our family. The first being in the form of our wonderful son, Jonah Abraham, who was born on May 3. While is birth was easier and just as pain free as my delivery with Havana - he had some complications after birth that were a little scary for us. Because of how quickly he came out (5 minutes) he swallowed a lot of fluids on the way out; which led to him choking a lot his first 48 hours or so. His face was also extremely swollen and bruised from the birth. This was not the case with Havana and so to see him like that was both scary and sad. While I know it is pretty normal, as a mom, I still hated seeing him like that. They warned us early on that he might become jaundice because of the bruising. Well, they were right. His billirubin levels kept going up. It was actually quite scary - when he was 24 hours old, they took Jonah in the to do his circumcision and they brought him back a while later hooked to a heart and lung monitor and hooked to a billiblanket. Jason was back at home taking care of Havana at this point and so I was by myself trying to wrap my mind around all these machines. The monitor was because he choked during the circumcision and ended up turning blue. The billiblanket was for his jaundice. Listening to the machines and seeing him hooked up to those things was very painful for me.

The next day the doctor kept saying she was sure that his levels would go back down, but instead, they kept rising. By the time we left they were at a level where they told us we actually couldn't leave the hospital, but that he needed to be transferred to the NICU. Again, I know jaundice is pretty common, but I still hated hearing those words. I also hated the thought of not going home. It was Wednesday evening by this point - I missed Havana horribly and really wanted us to go home and start adjusting to life at home. However, we knew that we needed to do whatever was best for Jonah. They went back and forth for hours, literally, on if they would let us go home or admit him to the NICU. Havana and Jason had come to pick us up and so poor Havana had waited for hours in the little hospital room with us. Finally, at 10pm, they said because his weight gain was appropriate, we could go home. We left and rushed home (a 45 minute drive) only to return the next day at 9am to get another draw to check his billirubin. That draw showed his levels going down and we were instructed to leave him on the blanket for the next week and to feed him every 2 hours - even through the night - at whenever he demanded it. It was somewhat of a pain to feed him on demand and have him constantly hooked up to the blanket (and thus near an outlet), but it was a small sacrifice to make in order to make sure he was healthy.

Once we were home, it was nice to start adjusting to life as a family of four! The transition went quite smoothly, Praise God! My body healed up rather quickly and breast feeding went a lot smoother than last time and so chasing after an 18 month old and taking care of a new born just seemed very natural. Jason, as always, was a HUGE help - being largely responsible for Havana's care while I tended to Jonah and he would help me in the middle of the night by changing Jonah's diapers before I would feed him. I went to the doctors office by myself with just Jonah when Jonah was three days old and the secretary said I looked very rested for a mom of a new born and I quickly responded that I had a good husband who helps me out a lot. That was met with a lot of "awwws" by the office staff, but it is the truth. Jason has always gone above and beyond in his role as husband and father. :)

Havana is an incredible big sister. She loves Jonah and is very attentive to his needs (sometimes too attentive, but her motives are always pure :). It has been a joy to watch her learn how to be gentle and to share her toys with him. She never had a struggle with jealousy and she loved having a friend who rides with her in the car and stroller. To say I'm impressed with her would be an understatement.

Even Tucker has adjusted well to the new addition. When we brought Havana home, Tucker was sad for several days. However, bringing Jonah home didn't seem to phase Tucker much at all.

The other big change for our family was our move! When Jonah was three weeks old we moved from Indianapolis back to the Louisville area. It has been a breath of fresh air to be back! While there were parts of and people in Indianapolis that I absolutely LOVED - I never realized how it never felt like home to me until I moved back. I laugh and say I feel like I'm on vacation with how relaxed and happy I am! It is very natural to be back. Just driving around the city makes me smile, I'm home! That is really funny coming from a girl who moved to Louisville Kicking and Screaming and who wanted to move away as quickly as possible. Funny how things change...

I forgot how Louisville is really just a big, small town... I have enjoyed running into people I know anytime I stop somewhere - be it the zoo or the grocery. It is very nice for Jason and I to be back at our home church as well and seeing our old friends! We love our new neighborhood and our neighbors! We live in a very social neighborhood and pretty much every night everyone goes outside to talk with each other. Everyone has been very nice and pretty much everyone has offered to babysit. :) Our new home has a playground in the back yard which is a big hit with havana! We also have a neighborhood pool and some walking trails which have already provided our family with lots of fun!

The unpacking process is going pretty slowly since our days are spent playing with two children. By the time they go to sleep, we are ready to go to sleep as well. But little by little we are getting things accomplished. After we unpack, our next project will be decorating - we are hoping to get lots of new furniture and then from there to pick paint colors that we feel will make this house our home. The basement is completely unfinished and while we are setting up a workout area and a scrapbooking area down there now - eventually we will want to finish it. We are also enjoying planning our landscaping and what we want to do with our lawn. It has been fun and refreshing!

Right now Jonah is six weeks old and Havana is almost 20 months old. Jonah is doing pretty well, he is a HUGE boy... he is over 13 pounds and getting bigger every day. He has adapted to a three hour eating scheduel and the cycles of eating/awake time/sleep time. His night time sleep is just now stretching to longer hours so he is only waking up once a night these days and usually sleeps in until about 9am. He loves to snuggle and he is very endearing. He is overall a pretty content little boy who we are crazy about!

Havana is growing a lot these days too! She is a very tall girl - in the nursery at church she is by far the tallest one in the room. At storytime the other day she was standing next to a few three year olds and she was taller than both of them. I would say my husband marked both of my children with his "giant genes"! :) Havana is so much fun to play with and I LOVE watching her use her imagination. Her doll house and her little family are her favorite toys these days. She is a silly little girl who loves to giggle and she has such a tender heart. Jason and I have agreed we want to foster that in her - just allowing her to be a silly little girl and encouraging her tenderness. She loves to give hugs - even to pictures in the books we read to her - so we always tell her how sweet she is to hug the bird on the page. :)

She is making improvements with her language development. She is now saying "go" and "notebook" and a few other words as well as many animal sounds! She has increased her signs and now has a sign for pretty much everything including baby Jonah! :) We are going to continue to have her go to speech therapy down here, but most likely won't start that until July.

Our biggest challenge with her right now is the fact that she enjoys pulling Tucker's tail. We are learning what styles of discipline work best with her personality. We are doing a better job these days are remembering the big picture - thinking back to how HARD February was for us in terms of our battles with Havana over what she would eat for dinner. However, now she eats whatever I put in front of her without any objections. I sometimes laugh when I think that used to be a struggle and how now it isn't. That helps us not feel so overwhelmed when thinking about a certain struggle we are having with her - knowing that if we are consistent, she will learn what is expected of her and why and will soon adapt her behaviors accordingly. Then we'll move onto another challenge, but rejoicing in each victory we have with her. We are so grateful and humbled at the chance to parent her and raise her up to know and love Jesus.

Jason and I have spent lots of time praying for our children - their future spouses, their future lives, their faith. We also pray for present day things like Jonah's sleep patterns and for Havana with her speech development and her ever present separation anxiety... however, the other day I realized that I wanted to also pray for them just to be fun loving children who are sheltered from the cruel realities of this world for as long as possible. I just want them to dance through this world. I think about Havana and how wonderful her little life is - she wakes up to a mommy and daddy who are happy to see her. We eat, play, and laugh pretty much all day. Jason and I have encouraged her to have small moments of "individual play time" but for the most part, our days are just playing games and reading books to Havana. We save the house work and paper work for times when she is sleeping. As she and Jonah continue to grow and as we add other children to our family (hopefully) we want to make sure to keep that our priority. We don't want them to think they are the center of the world or that they can tell us what we will be doing that day, but we want them to know that playing with them is more important that doing the dishes and that family time is important to us all.

I have always been involved in ministries since I've become a Christian. Being very active in my church has always been at the core of who I am. However, as we are starting to add more children to our family, I'm starting to grasp the concept of stepping back. While there are still a few certain things I'll want to be involved it, I can no longer balance the many ministries I've been involved in and juggling two children. This was somewhat painful for me to fully accept at first. However, I started thinking about the Great Commission where Jesus tells us to, "...go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you...
(Matthew 28:19-20). As I sat and pondered that, I came to embrace that for right now, I am commissioned to make disciples out of Havana and Jonah. They are my Great Commission and that is not a role or ministry I should take lightly or view as 2nd rate. That is my priority when it comes to living out the Great Commission even though it will look very different than leading ministries, mission trips, and Bible studies. As I told Jason my thoughts on this he agreed and added that through their lives, they can reach more people for Christ than I could alone, so investing in teaching them God's truths is by far my greatest responsibility and ministerial role. That really makes changing diapers become a lot more significant.

Jason and I continue to do well in our marriage. I am truly so blessed to be married to such an amazing man! Perhaps that is one of the reasons I love being back in Louisville so much - I drive down the road and everything seems to have a connection to Jason and when we first started dating - our love story. :) We've been married 5.5 years now and have learned so much through the years. We've always been good about reading the Bible and praying together regularly, but we just started something new where we are memorizing Scripture together each week as well. While that is something we have both done individually in the past or together for a certain verse occasionally that can be applied to a trial we are facing - we've never made a habit of doing it together each week. We're excited for how the Lord will teach us more about Himself while we add that discipline to our lives.

The other day I was upstairs holding Jonah and I walked into Havana's room and she was singing and dancing. We looked at each other, smiled huge smiles at each other and both started laughing. The love that I feel for my family is overwhelming at times, but I sat there looking at my carefree, beautiful daughter and I was holding my handsome, content son - and I was humbled with my wonderful family - I am certainly blessed beyond what I deserve. My husband is incredible and my children are amazing. They are more than I deserve, but I'm incredibly thankful and try daily not to take a single minute of my life for granted. Life can be messy, but God is so good! Praying that you all relish in His faithfulness too!