Hey Everyone!
To update on the labor/delivery - we checked into the hospital around 7am and were first seen by our doctor a little after 9am. She started us on some gel and that started at 9:25. With Havana, we did 2 rounds of the gel overnight before we started the induction the next morning. However, the gel worked all on its own this time and we never needed pitocin. I began having regular contractions, my water broke about 1:15, and I received my epidural at 1:40. I struggled with feeling sick to my stomach for about 30 minutes, but other than that, it was a pain free and struggle free process. I was fully dilated at 6:30pm, began pushing at 6:45pm, and he was born at 6:51pm! That's 5 short minutes of pushing! I felt quite blessed. He is perfect! We enjoyed our first night with him here at the hospital and we can't wait for him to meet his big sister later today!
You have heard by now that Ap's real name is Jonah Abraham Dugger! Please allow me to share with you the significance behind his name as it is rich with meaning for us! First of all, he has the initials JAD which are Jason's initials... I have my dad's initials and he has his dad's initials and while these aren't the "DLD" initials - we wanted to sort of carry on the tradition of a child having the dad's initials.
I knew immediately that I wanted to name him Jonah. During July and August I really wrestled with God on a daily basis over His goodness to others -- in lots of areas, but especially in the area of fertility. I couldn't grasp why it was so easy for some people to become pregnant and carry those babies to term and while for others it was a such a daily battle to conceive and carry to term. I felt as if some people were so deserving of being able to conceive and felt other's were not and yet they were usually the ones who were able to get pregnant very quickly. While I was ashamed at these thoughts, they were very real and I found myself becoming quite bitter about it. That is when the Lord had me camp out in the book of Jonah for a few months during my quiet times with Him. I could relate to Jonah's anger to the Lord's mercy. Yet, I kept coming back to the line where God asks Jonah, "Do you have any right to be angry." I knew the Lord kept asking me that same question, calling me to come out of that place of bitterness. Yet, my first response was an awful lot like Jonah, "Yes, I am so angry I could die." I certainly feel that I have that same over dramatic nature in myself and often was just as honest with God as dear old Jonah was.
In my heart of hearts, I didn't mean that (being so angry I could die), but my first response was I was so angry and felt I had every right to be. I remember telling God one morning as I finished reading the passage yet again, that if I was to get pregnant soon and it was a son, that I would name him Jonah to remind me of the lessons of God's grace and goodness. That it is OKAY for the Lord to show favor on people - even if I view the people as less than deserving. I should welcome that, embrace that, and trust that God loves those people more than I could ever know and I need to trust Him. He has a plan and a reason and I need to be okay with whatever. Not just in the area of fertility (although that is where I need to learn it the most), but in every area of life.
During all that time I also felt like I wanted to run away from the lessons He was teaching me from the book of Jonah. In fact, in an e-mail to a friend back in July 2009 I wrote, "It (in regards to miscarriage and infertility) makes me sad, and it makes me mad, but I do think God is wanting to teach me things through this... but I'm trying to ignore that... just call me Jonah... if I go missing, check the belly of a whale."
So, in December, when we found out for sure that Ap was a boy... there really was no other option for a first name. I had told God I would name my son that and even still - as I sometimes struggle with the bitterness that trickles back into me, I say to myself, "this is why I'm naming my son Jonah... so that I can remember to be okay with the Lord's mercy."
Abraham --- Jonah's middle name comes from our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln. Back when I had first met Jason, I'm not even sure if we were dating yet, and we started talking about names for our future children - he said he wanted to name his son Abraham after Abraham Lincoln. Jason had written a paper on him in high school and gained a lot of respect for not only the leader he was, but the Christian husband and father that he was. Abraham Lincoln is also significant to me as well because he is in my family tree through my dad's side of the family. I pray that our son will be a strong and faith filled leader such as President Lincoln was - even if he is only the leader of his family and not the whole United States.
I am proud to have a son whose name has so much rich meaning to us! I pray that every time I call his name out, I am reminded of the Lord's goodness and of a Godly man who was once president of this great nation that we love!
