Merry Christmas!

I have a post saved in my drafts about our anniversary, but I'm waiting on my scanner to start working so that I can scan in some old pictures. :) So, until then, we'll move on to Christmas! :)

Christmas is tomorrow and I'm very excited. It is really a fun holiday with children. On the 23rd Havana and I had our first mother/daughter baking day. It was certainly a lot of fun! I had made sugar cookies the night before (from scratch) and so we decorated them while listening to Christmas music. Havana loved choosing the colors and sprinkles and she kept asking for "samples" of the icing. :) We also made Chocolate Scotcheroos and an apple pie. She and I had a fun morning and a new tradition was born. It was fun simply talking and hanging out in the kitchen with my little two year old. Jonah spent a lot of time in his command center in the kitchen, but he assured me he was too cool to cook with us. :)

There was one "moment" during the day. Havana kept running into our downstairs bathroom and would shut the door and then call for me by saying, "Mama, where are you?" This is her little way of playing hide and seek. So in between doing the dishes I would go and open the bathroom door and "find" her while she would laugh hysterically. However, one time I went back there I realized that I couldn't open the door! She had locked herself in there. I tried to speak calmly through the door as she continued to ask "Mama, where are you?" I told her I was trying to come in. I tried the wire hanger trick, but couldn't unlock the door. I called Jason at work and he asked if I could see the hinges of the door (I could not). Then he thought perhaps the window was open - no it was locked. At that point he suggested calling the fire department. Uh, no. There was no way I was going to call 911 for this. So, I called my wonderful neighbor. She was not home but her husband was and he came right over. All he had to do was touch the door and it opened! I asked him how he did it and at first he acted like he didn't do anything, but then he confessed he brought the key from his house! :) So thankful for our neighbors.

Havana spent a total of 40 minutes in the dark bathroom, but she never cried. She whined a little bit, but I bought some time by sliding flash cards and coloring books under the door. She did get scared when Adam opened the door and so she ran back and crouched behind the toilet. I told her she needed to thank Mr. "R" and she mildly said, "Thank you." So cute.

I called Jason back at work to update him and one of his co-workers answered the phone. He was kind of laughing at me and asked me if I had gotten everything taken care of. When I said I had he asked for details how. It was funny how many people ended up involved in rescuing our daughter from the bathroom. ;)

The evening of the 23rd we spent with my parents having our Christmas with them. Since Jason and I were on our honeymoon for our first Christmas we tend to like to keep the day for just our family. That is even more important now that we have children. So, we celebrated with my family on the 23rd and we'll celebrate with J's family after Christmas.

Tonight I kept trying to explain to Havana that it was Christmas Eve, but I'm not sure if she grasped the concept. In her mind, I put her to bed just like any other night. I wonder if she'll remember all that I told her tomorrow about Christmas when our morning is slightly different than most mornings. I found it very hard to explain why we give gifts to each other on Jesus' birthday. Perhaps this is the first year I've truly had to explain it, but I found myself stumbling over that tonight. I explained how we do it to celebrate Jesus and because He was the best gift we'll ever receive. I threw in how the wise men brought Jesus gifts, but found that all my answers for why I'm giving my children gifts tomorrow couldn't truly be linked to Jesus. I'll have to do more research on that tonight to better explain it tomorrow.

Jason and I don't do Santa with our children. We aren't opposed to him nor do we demonize him, but we made the decision that we were not going to have our children believe that Santa Clause really comes to our house at night. It basically boils down to lying. We have made a commitment never to lie to our children. I'm sure most parents don't set out to lie to their children and I don't view parents who believe in Santa as lying, but I'm simply saying we go very far to stick to that.

For example, if Havana is asking for a specific snack it is easy to tell her we don't have that so she'll have to eat something else. Yet, we choose to tell her that while we do have that snack... she needs to eat the snack we picked out. That is a small example. Or if we can only watch part of a show before bedtime I won't tell her that the DVD is broken or over... I'll tell her we have to end it early so we can go to bed on time. Little things like that are the standard in our family.

Going along with that, I was never comfortable with the idea of Santa. Perhaps part of it is selfish - I don't really want to clean up the mess when she finds out that he isn't real. Jason remembers vividly children making fun of him at school because he still believed (I think he was 2nd grade) and later that night he asked his dad if Santa was real. He said he was very disappointed when he found out the truth. I would hate to have Santa to be one of her favorite parts of Christmas only to find out that it all isn't real. Especially if I don't get the opportunity to tell her gently before mean children at school.

That isn't the only reason, but it does cross my mind. It boiled down to lying. I simply don't want to lie to my children. Jason, at first, wasn't sure he agreed with me. In fact, for Havana's first Christmas he told her that Santa had come to our house the night before. Granted, she was only two months old, but I remember not liking his big presentation. I figured it would be an area where I would have to submit to his leadership despite the fact I didn't like it. However, over the next year, I spent time praying for him to make the decision that was best for our family regarding Santa and a week before Christmas last year he said, "I've been thinking and praying and I don't think we should do Santa."

I was so relieved that Jason was led that way! It was so nice last Christmas to be united and to present gifts to Havana from us. This year has been even better because the whole time we knew how we were going to handle it. Jason's reasoning were slightly more spiritual. He agrees with me that there is nothing wrong with pretending Santa with your children, but he summarized it by saying it is hard enough to keep the sacred things sacred in this world as it is, and he wants to lead our family in a way that focuses on the sacred and so the less distractions the better.

We do have some ground rules. We don't ever want to demonize Santa. He isn't evil. Believing in him isn't evil. We want to teach our children about the REAL St. Nicholas and talk about how he was very generous. In the spirit of St. Nick, we want to have our children give to those in need through different charities all through the year, but especially at Christmas. This year I had Havana pick out a toy that she wanted to donate to our church's toy drive. She picked out a musical tea set that I know she would have loved to keep, but I was filled with pride when she walked it to the donation bin and put it in. As they get older, the emphasis on charity will increase.

I also don't want my children to be the ones who tell everyone they meet that Santa isn't real. We'll keep it very low key that we don't "do" Santa. We aren't going to say he is wicked. As they get a little older we will teach him about other families and how some of them have the tradition of Santa Clause coming to their house. I will paint it up as part of their family tradition and something we should respect. We can't hide Santa from our children. We can't act like he doesn't exist. He does and he is an important part of many families and that is something we want to respect. The people across the street have a Santa out in their front yard and when we drive by Havana always says, "Hi Santa." She knows who he is, but she doesn't think he comes down our fireplace and leave him gifts.

It is an interesting topic. We have many friends who are also not doing Santa which makes it very easy for our families around this time of year. However, I know we've also received criticism. Someone suggested that I was too legalistic. I'm not. I read an article in our church's newspaper that talked about WHY you should let you children believe in  Santa. It was a slightly bitter article that said if you don't let you children use their imaginations to pretend in Santa then you shouldn't let them play pretend games such as cops and robbers. I disagree. You can tell your children up front, "okay, we are going to play cops and robbers... havana you and pretend to be the robber and Jonah you can pretend to be a cop." They aren't actually going to believe that they are truly cops and robbers. It is pretend.

The article spoke of how happy his childhood was when on Christmas morning he would see evidence of reindeer in the yard. I think that is fun too, but I can't imagine myself placing half eaten carrots in the yard tonight when I'm trying to finish wrapping gifts. :) It just isn't me. Again, we feel that this is a decision each family can make for themselves and I also don't believe there is a right or wrong way to do it. Believing in Santa is neither right or wrong just as not believing in Santa is neither right or wrong. That's just my opinion, but it seemed this article was bitter towards those who don't let their children believe. I say, each family should celebrate as they feel led.

I am excited to see Havana's and Jonah's faces tomorrow. They both get so excited over new toys and I'm sure they will love some of the new things we have for them. Jonah is so big and interactive that it is hard for me to remember that this will be his first Christmas. I plan on making a really special breakfast as well! Havana loves the song "muffin man" and I realized the other day that I don't think she has ever eaten a muffin. So, I'll be making muffins and sweet rolls tomorrow for us to have a fun family breakfast before opening gifts.

I love creating new traditions. I never knew how much fun they could be until you add in some children. To think about them going through the years having these transitions we are creating now. Sort of makes me cry when I think about it. :) I am so blessed to be a mommy. I know this privilege that is denied to many who desire it. I also know it is a gift some people take for granted. Not me. I cherish every minute with my children. Knowing that I don't deserve each moment with them, but that each second is a blessing. Life is a miracle.

Speaking of life, I had my first ultrasound on Tuesday. My new little one was measuring at 9 weeks, 1 day. It's little heart was beating at 167 beats per minute and I was so relieved to see things going well. I still struggle with fear that this pregnancy might end, but I think that is a struggle I'll have with every pregnancy and all I can do is have faith that no matter what, God will be there.


I hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas. I hope that you all pause to remember the REAL reason for the season...Jesus. Not simply baby Jesus in a manger, but adult Jesus who died for each one of us. I believe it was Luther who wondered if the angels were not envious of we sinful humans, for Christ assumed human flesh and became our Brother. And I'm so glad He did!

Merry Christmas!!!!!! 

November was fun...

November of 2010 is a month I won't soon forget! The first update of the month is the incredible announcement that I believe I have been healed of MS. In 2003 I began having neurological problems that have plagued me ever since. However, on October 31st I was prayed over for healing for the third time. Almost immediately I felt relief and within a few hours I felt better than I have in years. I have not taken my medicine since the first week in November and I haven't experienced one single symptom since then. I'm not sure what the Lord has planned for me in this area, but I'm thankful for this month and a half of a symptom free life. I firmly believe that the Lord can heal and I'm thankful for this time. I my symptoms ever do come back, I will know that the Lord has the power to take it away again at any moment and will accept His will for my life regardless. But, needless to say, November was an exciting month for me because each passing day I was amazed!

November continued to leave me awe struck by our Lord in the discovery that we are pregnant. As I mentioned in my last post - this is the very first time we have conceived without trying. I have always imagined how it would be if it would "just happen" but the joy surpassed all my expectations. I am so excited to see what the Lord wants to do in our family and how He wants to grow it. I love being so open to life. :)

It was fun because for the first time I was able to tell Jason in a "fun" way. The first time we found out we were pregnant I wasn't sure what I was seeing (after trying for 2.5 years and taking multiple tests I thought my mind way playing tricks on me). Anyway, I rushed downstairs and said, "Um, what is this?" The 2nd time Jason had just handed me the test to take, it showed up positive and I called him in by saying, "Um, come here." Jason was so convinced that I wasn't pregnant that he forgot he had just given me the test and he thought I was out of toilet paper or something. He walked in and I was pointing to the counter and I said, "What does this mean?" (he had brought a test home from work so it read a little differently than the ones you buy in the store). For our third time, we found out through our doctor who came into the room telling us that the test she just took had come up positive. Anyway, so for the first time I was able to know for a few minutes before telling Jason. I had originally thought about making him a card with a drawing of a positive pregnancy test that I would have Havana give to him, but she was sleeping and there was no way I was going to wait overnight to tell him. I'm not that patient. Ha. So I simply go downstairs and ask him to close his eyes. I walk across the room, hold the test up, and tell him he can open it. He laughs, says, "You're pregnant." Then he paused and said, "Are you really?" :)

Anyway, we also dealt with the false scare in November, but that turned out just fine so it adds to the sweetness of the month. Havana becomes more and more of a delight every day with her funny personality. She's become a little chatter box and her imagination has run wild which is fun to watch. Jonah is still incredibly content but also so funny! He is getting very playful and has the funniest laugh I've ever heard. He's started babbling and can even say "mama" now. He's eating a few purees and he loves cheerios. His first tooth broke through on Thanksgiving and he now has two.  I wonder it other parents truly just think about their children all day and do their hearts melt? I'm sure they do, but I am incredibly thankful for my husband and both of my children. I can't imagine a better life and I'm so grateful for my family. The Lord is good.   

There was one "hiccup" in November. I had an incredibly painful incident with a friend  I love. I don't really believe my blog is the best place to describe the situation, but I will say that it really troubled me. I spent nights up crying, I sought wise friends for their opinions on how I should handle the situation, and through it all... I fell deeper in love with my husband. You see, Jason is very good about listening to me. He always has been - even since before we were dating.

I remember once when we were only friends. I would see him on Sundays at church and I walked through the door and my nose was broken. He wanted to hear the story and so I began telling him about my car wreck. While I was talking to him a little girl came up and wanted to color with Jason. He began coloring with her, but made sure to look me in the eye and he said, "I'm still listening." That's not the only time, whenever I needed an ear - he was always there. One of the many things I love about sharing my life with Jason is that he is a good listener. He doesn't rattle off advice on how to fix it. He simply listens.



I would love to type more tonight, but I'm very sleepy. Soon I will update on December, Santa, and our anniversary. :) Goodnight!