Six week review

My sweet Selah is six weeks old! She is so much fun and I'm loving being her mommy. I usually call her my "sweet Selah" but sometimes I call her "Spikey Selah" because her hair is so... spikey! I love it - it sticks straight up. At first it was only a hair or two, but it seems that after every bath more and more of her hair is spikey. I am pretty sure she might develop a natural Mohawk soon! :)

At her 1 month appointment she weighed in at 11 pounds, 10 ounces and I'm certain that she is over 12 pounds now. She is getting noticeably bigger every day. What a fun stage. She gave me her first smile the other day (the 29th). I was talking sweetly to her and rubbing her belly after a diaper change and she looked up at me with her wide eyes and then broke into a smile. My heart melted. I am so thankful for my little daughter!

She loves being held and making eye contact. The other night when praying  for her Jason specifically prayed that we would always make time to look into her eyes during the day. Her first few weeks of life she demanded to be held... which of course can't always happen when you're chasing two other little ones around.I felt bad that she had to cry, but in the past few days she has adapted and is now content to sit in her swing or crib and wait for when mommy can come and hold her. Literally this is the third day that her day time have resembled a normal routine and she has been content with where mommy places her. Sometimes she still protests, but she ends up giving up after 5 minutes or so verses the hours (literally) of crying that she would do before.

Her nighttime sleep has gotten into a nice pattern as well. She has always been an okay sleeper - there have only been two nights (both when she was 2 weeks old) where she was up most of the night. Other than that she was pretty good about waiting 3-4 hours between feeds. Around 5 weeks of age she began sleeping for 6 hours straight and then going back to bed for three hours and then back to sleep again for three hours. It was a nice twelve hours that she was in her room. The past two nights she has slept 7.5 at once and then goes back to sleep for 3 hours. What a good little girl!

Now, I won't lie, the transition from two children to three proved challenging at times. It was hard physically to try and keep up with the two little ones while not getting a lot of sleep at night in those first few weeks. It was hard to get back into the swing of nursing (in the past six week I've already had mastitis three times). It was hard to listen to Selah scream when I couldn't tend to her needs right away. It was hard to listen to Jonah cry when I couldn't tend to his needs right away. It was hard to listen to Havana whine when I couldn't tend to her needs right away. It has been a work out keeping all three kids in clean diapers and well fed. Jason and I are still trying to figure out how to get chores and paperwork done as well as how to have time for each other.

However, despite the growing pains... life have been so much sweeter since bringing Selah home. My heart grows watching Havana and Jonah interact with her. I am having fun with my three little ones and wouldn't change the hardest day for the easiest day pre-Selah. Having three kids is different, but so amazing. I am learning how much I need the Lord. I need Him and His grace for each moment and it is amazing to watch Him give me energy despite a lack of physical sleep. He gives me grace when I have nothing left, He allows me to laugh instead of breaking down in tears. He grants me individual time with each child. He is teaching me that His grace truly is sufficient.

At the Kentucky State Fair! 

I've never been one to stay at home very often. I usually have the kids out daily. We have still had lots of family fun trips since Selah has been born (the zoo, the fair, playgroups, church, friend's houses, etc.), but I've been home more than normal and that is where I see His grace coming through. He provides me with the energy to make my home a fun atmosphere for my children - He helps me come up with fun ways to play with the children. He has helped me from becoming bored. He is answering my prayers to be my strength for each moment and He is teaching me to take full advantage of this age... enjoying it and planting seeds in the hearts of my babies!

The Lord has provided me with an incredible husband who helps out with the children so that I can take a nap...or a bath. He even watched all three children the other night for several hours so that I could spend the evening scrapbooking with friends!  He has also provided me with amazing friends who help me with my children when we get out of the house, come to me when I don't feel like I can leave, and who encourage me in my quest to be a godly mother. The weekly play dates I've been having with them have meant so much and have helped me feel connected to the human race in a time when things don't seem normal.

My heart is overwhelmed with love and gratitude for the life I'm living. My children are so precious (to me :) and I am learning to fully enjoy this stage. This is a stage of messy faces, messy diapers, and a messy house! This stage can best be described (at best) as organized chaos. Yet, this stage is so full of innocence. My children, while they get disappointed if they don't get their way, don't know what name calling is, they don't yet know about how people can be malicious, and they don't know what it feels like to be rejected. They are unaware of hurricanes, national debt, famine in Africa, and unsolved crimes. They live in a sheltered little world that I hope to keep them in as long as possible. They wake up each day and spend their time playing, singing, dancing, and laughing. They know that they are loved by their mommy, daddy, and Jesus. They know mommy and daddy love each other. They know they love each other! It is a sweet and innocent time and I'm so grateful to have three little ones entrusted to my care! 

The Bottle Boy Who Wouldn't Walk...

Dear Jonah,

Well, my little man, I'm madly in love with you. You seriously are so incredibly kissable, funny, sweet, tender, smart, and all around wonderful! I love watching you play and explore your world. Your communication skills are amazing. You are saying so many words (notebook, blue, black, ark, up, down, ball, drink, all done, more, cookie, etc.) and doing a great job answering questions. We went to Noah's Ark the other day and that night i was rubbing your back and asked, "Do you remember what we did today?" You said, "ark" I said, "yes, we went to the ark, and what did we do there?" And you said, "up, up, up... down." (meaning you went up and down the slide! It was an amazing experience to have a conversation with my little man! I am so proud of you. You make an attempt to say any word. I was talking to havana the other day and I asked her, "can you say particular?" and you said, "particular." haha. You're a funny little man because you refuse to be left out of anything. Anything your big sister can say you will try to say. Anywhere she can go you will want to go. Anything she can do you are going to do or die attempting. ha.

We went to the fair the other night and you enjoyed keeping up with her on the rides and playing in "safety town." She climbs up stairs and goes down big slides... so do you. Most of the other mothers around are shocked that I let you go up and down on the playgroup equipment by yourself, but you figure it out very quickly. You can even get off of mommy and daddy's king sized bed with ease. You just attempt everything feet first and you don't seem to mind the times you tumble or fall. You can go up the stairs with ease and you can come down them too, but mommy gets a little nervous watching you do that.  She spins and sings and you sing and spin (while sitting on the ground). You want to play with what she is playing with and overall you two play together very well.  It seems that the only thing you won't do like Havana is 1. Drink from a sippy cup and 2. WALK.

You are almost 16 months old and your bottle seems to be your first love. You adore it. You shake with excitement as soon as you see it. When your bottle is on your tray it doesn't matter what dessert is on there - you only have eyes for the six ounces of the soy liquid that is in there. I'm pretty sure you dream about it at night. Our doctor said that having you off of your bottle by 18 months is a good goal, but I honestly don't know how we're going to do it. You won't drink milk from a sippy cup. You'll gladly drink water from the cup, but when it comes to your soy milk it has to be from the bottle. We've tried to offer you milk in a cup - several different types of cups - but all get rejected. The other day I gave you your milk in a straw sippy cup. You immediately try to throw it on the floor, but I said, "just take a sip of it." You take a sip... and then you look at me with this HORRIBLE expression that seemed to say, "how could you?!" And then with a loud grunt you throw the cup on the floor. I laughed and sighed... I'm not sure how this will play out, but I'll be shocked if you are off the bottle by 18 months... just saying. :)

You also are not walking. Here's the thing... YOU CAN! At the beginning of August when you had just turned 15 months old you took your first few steps. You were on one side of the couch and Havana had a toy on the other side and you quickly took three steps to get from one side of the couch to the other. I don't think you realized that you did it and it took me a second to realize it. Then I screamed out of excitement. You took three tiny steps, but I was sure that was the beginning of you taking off. I called your daddy at work to let him know the good news and I followed you around the rest of the evening with the video camera. Sadly, you didn't take another step. Then, 20 days later, I carried you up the stairs and I put you down. I had my hands around your ribs instead of holding your hands and helped you start walking. I softly let go and again you took about 3-4 steps before you reached the wall and began your normal routine of cruising the walls. I, again, screamed and ran to pick you up. I kept yelling, "You did it, Jonah! You walked!" You however seemed motivated very little by all the positive reinforcement. I kept trying to get you to take steps after that, but again, you wouldn't. As soon as I let go of you - you plop yourself on the ground and begin to crawl until you can find something you can "cruise" on. I don't know what it is going to take to get you to realize that you CAN WALK! You can do it. You seem content simply standing on your own two feet, but resorting to crawling and cruising as your modes of transportation. and I guess we are working on your time table and not mine! :) You're an awesome little boy and I'm madly in love with you!

Jonah can stand, but he won't walk. 

The Leader of the Mutiny...

So my status on facebook today read, "It's official - my children are staging a mutiny! :)" -- and that seemed to ring true all day. Since having three children I have accepted the truth that I can't make everyone happy and that there is a good chance that at least one of the children will be crying at any given moment. That doesn't even phase me anymore. Every once in a while it gets stressful when two of the three are upset, but today... all three were "emotional" all day. Jason was home for a little bit this morning and he even noted that it wasn't a good day... and if you know him... you know he never says things like that. His last words to me before he left for work were, "good luck." I finally had all three down at 10pm and breathed in the silence for a few minutes. I never knew silence could be so.... sweet. :)

All three of my children were clearly not excited about life today, but as I assested the situation I realized that there was a leader to this mutiny. Behold the leader... 

Now, I realize she is little and well, adorable... but she successfully enlisted and rallied two other troops to her cause! In the loud chaos that was my day... I laughed out loud thinking of the leadership skills this little one already has. What mighty plans does the Lord have for her? She is only 5 weeks old and I can already get a glimpse of her personality which I believe is not going to be a passive one. Praying for my little leader tonight - that she sleeps well and that she will learn Philippians 4:12 ("I have learned the secrete of being content in any and every situation..."). I am also praying that as she grows - she will use her strong personality for His glory to reach this lost world! Despite the fact she organized a coup... I wouldn't change a thing - I love each of my babies and their distinctive personalities. I love the gift of life and the chance to be a mommy. I also love the promise that His mercies are new every morning... here's to a better tomorrow! :)

For the Love of Our Husbands!

It has been a while since I mentioned my book on this blog... but I wanted to write one quick post on it, more than anything to help me remember all the cool "I spy God" moments that are coming out of this crazy adventure He put me on. Let me first say that I don't type any of this as a way to pat myself on the back or to boast in any way. It isn't me... it is the Lord... which makes all of this so cool for me to sit back and watch.

The last week of June I approved the printed version of my book and at that point it was officially for sale! At first only through myself or the Crossbooks website, but then it was quickly picked up by Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I posted on my facebook page how to purchase it and I was shocked at how many people wanted to buy a copy. I realize that most people are supporting me solely as a friend, but I was still blown away... especially when the people purchasing a copy had been married for many years. I have currently been married (only) 6.5 years, but I wrote the book during my 4th year of marriage. It was hard for me to believe that anything I wrote back then could impact anyone who had been married longer than myself. Yet, the requests and the compliments kept coming in and I continued to be humbled. I ended up making a habit of praying for each book before mailing it off... I prayed for the couple it was going to, I prayed for the Lord to use the words written in there to impact and uplift their marriage no matter how long they have been married. It seemed that all I could do was hand it over to Him.

The Lord was so gracious in allowing me to hear a compliment about how He was answering that prayer. A week or two after giving it to some ladies in my Bible study... one of my friends mentioned the book in our study. She was talking about how she was frustrated with her husband and she went and read the devotion for that week and there were words in there she needed to hear that helped her change her attitude. I have to say it was one of the rare moments when I didn't seem to battle my own pride, but simply thanked the Lord. You see, she has been married longer than I have and the coolest part is that I wrote that devotion two years ago before I had even met her. I thought, "only God could take something I wrote in 2009 and use it in the marriage of someone here in 2011. Only He could orchestrate that." Then some of the ladies in the group were asking about my book and I sat back and watched as three women were explaining my book to them. It was surreal and a blessing.

In the past when I've performed a drama at church, as the compliments came in I would battle with my pride because I knew it was something that I was gifted in... a natural strong suit so to speak. There were times when I actually thought "I" was the reason a drama was so good and not because the Lord was working. I'm certainly not thrilled to share my prideful moments, but they do exist in certain areas. This, however, is not one of those moments. I'm not an author... writing isn't my strength... I'm not the perfect wife, I don't have a perfect marriage... I'm young in both age and marriage... there is nothing in me that is qualified to write a marriage book. Nothing. Which is how I know that when anyone compliments my book... it isn't me... it is the Lord. I'm not always so humble, but in this situation, I have no room for pride because it isn't me. To think that the Lord is accomplishing good through such a broken vessel like me... wow, brings me to tears even now!

Jason and I agreed at the beginning of this adventure that we were publishing this book to be obedient to Him and not for any sort of fame or career goal for myself. We wanted to hand it over to Him and let Him run with it... well, He is running. Someone suggested that we ask the Outlook (a Christian newspaper) to do a story on it. We thought about it and I even started a letter or two, but then ended up deleting the e-mail because it didn't seem right. I didn't want to self-promote. Shortly after I shrugged off the idea of having the Outlook do an article... they contacted me requesting an interview. What?! I wasn't seeking it, I didn't mention it, but through word of mouth they found out about it. I had the interview last week and my simple prayer is that the Lord would say what He wants to say about the book through the article's author.

Around the same time as the Outlook interview, I found out that the Living Word bookstore was willing to carry the book. This is the first time my book has actually hit a bookstore's shelf and not merely available online. I was humbled that the Living Word wanted to carry it. The bookstore manager read the book and said that in lots of way the book is good for single women too because it highlights different prayer points that they can begin praying now for their husbands! When she said that I was humbled and realized that the Lord has bigger plans for this book than I realized! To confirm that thought, there is recent talk of me going on a radio show. I haven't accepted the invitation yet, but am currently praying about it. In the meantime, I'm having fun sitting back and watching Him work!  For someone who never set out to write a book, who never believed I could actually publish a book, and who doubted anyone would purchase it... I am humbled and thankful that He is using and blessing me despite all my inadequacies. Isn't that so like God?!

Lots of Threes!

Well, I've been the mommy to three children under three years of age for three weeks now! At times I think, "really, has it only been three weeks?!" Because I am already struggling to remember life pre-Selah. Yet there are also those times when I can't believe Selah is already three weeks old as it feels that only yesterday she was born! Funny how time works like that. :)

Life has been sweet and busy since we were blessed with our third miracle! Selah was born on July 19th and we came home that Thursday the 21st. I was excited to get settled in back home... yet that night Selah scared us! All that day at the hospital she didn't make a wet or dirty diaper. All afternoon she was awfully sleepy. Now, I realize she was a new born, but I also had been with her the past two days and this was different. She wouldn't wake up - not even to eat - and when she did open her eyes they rolled back into her head. Her breathing was a little off as well. I tried skin-to-skin... I tried stripping her down and laying her on the cold couch... I tried just about everything to get her to wake up and eat. Nothing. I kept telling Jason, "She isn't the same girl who was in the hospital." She wasn't crying, wouldn't make a noise, wouldn't open her eyes, wouldn't eat... I was slightly worried she was having seizures or something along those lines. Jason quickly reassured me she was not, but after observing her more carefully he agreed that he was "concerned, but not frightened." We ended up calling our pediatrician on call around 11:30pm. Please know that we really never call the doctor on call, but we did that night. By this time it had been 24 hours since her last wet diaper and we discussed her appearance with the doctor. I was thinking she would send us to the ER right away... Jason said that if we had to take her to the ER they would keep her for observation. This killed me because I had just come home and the thought of leaving my other two children for another day or two was heart breaking. I wanted us to be together as a family. We prayed over her and then shortly there after our doctor called us back. She said that we should force feed her formula every hour throughout the night. If she did not make a wet diaper by 5am then we were to take her to the ER. Well, it took a few hours, but she finally peed! Within 12 hours she started perking up and acting like a regular newborn. We took her in for a weight check on Friday and they thought she looked a little jaundice (and she had yet to poop!) and so they ran some labs. Thankfully, the labs came back in the normal range and they said as long as she begins to poop everything should be okay. We prayed for poop! I don't think I've ever seen people get so excited over their baby going to the bathroom, but by the time she finally did poop it had been 48 hours since her last one! We were thrilled and able to relax thinking she was going to be okay after all - she had just been a little dehydrated!

Now that Selah is hydrated she is doing excellent! She is such a good little girl and in the past three weeks there have only been two nights when she was up a lot. Other than that, she is going 3-4 hour stretches at night and going right back to sleep after feedings! She is getting into a rhythm during the day of eating, having awake time, and then taking a nap. She does like to be held during her awake time... which is slightly challenging when I'm trying to get lunch ready or something for the other kids, but overall I can't complain... she is a great little girl and I love see her "eyeballs" (as Havana and now I say about her during her awake time :). I feel honored to be her mommy... babies are such miracles.

Havana and Jonah are adjusting fairly well. Havana was a little emotional at first, but I honestly think that was due more to Jason and I being gone than it was to bringing Selah home. Her one point of confusion is what happened to "the baby in mommy's belly." She accepted baby Selah into our family no problem, but she couldn't forget that there was a baby in mommy's belly. Even now, three weeks later, when naming the members of our family she'll say, "mama, dada, vana, Baby Jonah, Baby Selah, Tucker, Baby in Mama's belly." And she still insists on giving the baby in mama's belly a kiss. I try to tell her that the baby came out and it is baby Selah... but she can't seem to grasp that concept. Poor girl. :)

Baby Jonah, he's great. He's been handling the change like a champ. He doesn't seem to mind that I hold her or when I feed her or the fact that she cries. However, since bringing her home he hasn't slept very well. At one point he was getting up 3-4 times in the middle of the night. If you know me, you know sleep training my children is one of my first goals and so to have him all of a sudden refuse to sleep seemed strange. I even wondered if he was getting sick... but as the nights continued we figured out it had to do with Selah. I think he knows something is different, but he can't seem to express it and so it is causing his sleep to be a little off. We decided that we would not bring Selah into his room during his night time routine so that we are purposefully making it Jonah's special time. We read him books, say prayers with him, and give him lots of snuggles without his older or younger sister in the room. Last night he only woke up once so I'm hoping we're getting over this, but that has been challenging for Jason and I because not only are we up often with Selah, but between her feeding times we are awake with Jonah. That makes for even more exhausted parents. :)

It was a little challenging at first with the weather being so incredibly hot (heat index of 115). Because of that heat taking Selah out was out of the question, but it also prevented us from doing much with our other children. If you know me, you know I don't stay home very often and so for us all to be in the house for several days was a struggle. We took everyone to church when Selah was only 5 days old which was a highlight for everyone -- Selah did great and slept through the whole service. :)

Selah's first time at church!

A few days after we went to church Jason said that he would take Havana to the zoo as a fun treat and to get her out of the house. She had asked to go to the zoo or the pool everyday the entire week we had been home. Jason looked at her and asked if she wanted to go to the zoo and I've never seen a face light up so much. She yelled, "YEAH!" She was incredibly excited and ran upstairs to put on her swimsuit. While going up the stairs she pointed out the "new" gate that Jason had installed about three months ago. She said, "New Gate." I said, "yep, that's our new gate." Then in her excited voice she yelled "YAY DADDY. THANK YOU DADDY." I laughed out loud. She was so excited to go to the zoo that she was going to praise her daddy for everything she saw. :) However, there is a sad side to that story. When Jason and Havana arrived at the zoo - they were closed! I guess their evening hours had ended. Havana was a little sad about it, but Jason was brilliant and quickly came up with the solution to go to splash park down on the waterfront with her. She seemed happy enough when they returned home, but Jason said there was a lot of disappointment in the car. Glad I missed that because I'm not sure this postpartum mommy could have handled that. :)  

The older kiddos have been doing some really sweet things! I've been trying to find time to spend with each child during the day. As I mentioned before, Jonah's special time is right before he  goes to bed...  Havana's special time is when she wakes up. I must say this is a favorite time for me. We don't snuggle her or lay in bed with her at night, but when I go in to get her in the morning or after her nap I'll lay in bed with her. Sometimes we lay there and I rub her back. Other times we just talk about her toys and life in general. Those moments are so sweet and I try and remind myself to simply enjoy them instead of thinking of everything else I have to get accomplished. Once as we were laying in bed together she was looking very serious... so I asked, "Does Havana feel sad or happy?" She said she was happy and so I said, "well what are you thinking about?" Very seriously she looked at me and said, "Pluto." I tried to control my laughter. She's so sweet and cute. Jason and I often talk about how we want her to remain that innocent and pure for as long as she can. Kids have enough to worry about in life that I want to shield her from any negative thoughts for as long as possible. I love her carefree life where her most complex thoughts revolve around her favorite stuffed animal. :) 

Jonah has been equally funny these days! His vocabulary is exploding and I'm amazed and all the things he is saying. I think I'm shocked at the words coming out of his mouth because at 15 months Havana didn't say any words - not even mama and daddy. His newest words are, "thank you" "cookie" "up and down" -- he loves playing "peek -a - boo" and there is this game that Jason and Havana sometimes play during dinner - he'll take the top off his water bottle and spin it on the table after he counts to three. One day I gave Jonah my water bottle cap and he said, "one, two, three" and then he threw the top. I was shocked! He picks up on everything these days. He has a favorite book that we read at night and when  I ask him to point to certain object on the page he can! What a smart boy! It is hard to realize how much he is absorbing because he is so quiet and plays so well by himself that I often forget to engage him. This sometimes hurts my heart... like the other day I was feeding Selah and reading books to Havana and Jonah was playing with some other toys in the same room. I look up after reading a few books to H and I see he is trying to read a book to himself. My heart broke - I hope he doesn't think I don't enjoy reading to him! Something similar happened the other night while we were doing Havana's bedtime routine... we always do shadow puppets on the wall together and while we were doing them I look over at Jonah who is across the room trying to do his own shadow puppets on the wall! I laughed because it was super cute, but again, it hurt my heart a little that I hadn't included him. My goal is to make more of an effort to engage him in play during that day. That sounds simple, but between a two year old who loves attention and a new born who demands attention - Jonah who is the definition of contentment easily is left to play by himself. I don't want that to be his normal and so I'm going to have to make a strong effort. It will be fun, though, because Jonah is such an incredible boy! :) He had his 15 month appointment last week and weighed in at 26.3 pounds! He was so brave during the shots and didn't even flinch - the doctor kept saying, "he's just sitting there!" He didn't mind when she looked in his ears or poked his belly. What a happy little perfect man! He isn't walking yet, but he did take his first steps the other day - however he hasn't take any since. 

Selah has been eating well and growing daily. She is at that age where she is growing, but it is hard for me to notice it because she is still so little in comparison to the other ones running around. Yet, one day her newborn diapers no longer fit, we had to readjust her car seat buckles, etc.  At her one week appointment she weighed 9 pounds, 6 ounces. I can't wait to see what she will weigh at her one month! It has been fun watching her adjust to life outside the womb. She enjoys being held and watching her brother and sister run around her. She likes it best when I hold her and so I kind of feel sorry for jason. He tries to hold her and she usually ends up crying. Jason was so cute the other day when he was talking about how he hasn't figured out what she wants from him yet... he has tried singing to her, rocking her, etc. and she always ends up fussing. I love how he tries to bond with each of our children over what they enjoy doing! He is an incredible daddy! 

Jason went back to work last week! To say that I was nervous would have been an understatement. I was actually filled with quite a bit of anxiety over the thought of keeping three children by myself. Jason was very encouraging and made a point to pray with me before leaving. I prayed a lot for myself - that I would have patience and not get frazzled. I prayed that the Lord would give me strength... and you know what! He did! The first thing He did was change my heart. He helped me focus on Jason - how out of the two of us Jason had the harder job. Not to mention the less fun job! Yes, my job as the mom to three under three is hard... yes, it means that there is a good chance that one of the kids will always be crying... yes, it means I have less time to "myself" -- but I get to spend each moment with my babies. With the children that I wanted and prayed so hard for. I get to kiss boo boos, change diapers, cut up chicken nuggets, and hold a sweet new born. I get to push kids on the swings and laugh at silly jokes. When I make my focus that instead of the "woe to me, how am I going to get through the next several hours alone" it makes for a fun day and gives me more grace with my husband when he comes home. I also have been able to smile when I think of the Lord providing for me. I'm tired from being up with Selah and Jonah and yet when morning comes I find a bounce in my step that I have no idea how it is there... why are my eyelids not droopy? Why? Because the Lord is giving me the strength for each step... counting on Him for enough energy to get me through the next hour has been an amazing testament to His goodness! Don't get me wrong, there are stressful moments. Moments when my son loves playing in the dog's water bowl, moments when my new born is screaming and it is several minutes before I can pick her up, moments when I'm trying to feed three kids at the same time (not a pretty picture, trust me). But those moments end, I take a deep breath, and fall madly in love with my life. It's a choice, but one I love making.

I will say that there was one day when I was feeding baby Selah and not watching the other two closely. When I went to check on them Jonah was in the bathroom playing in the bathtub. He put himself in there, fully dressed, and was playing with all the toys. I laughed and then had to change his clothes because they were all wet from toys that were still holding water. When I went to check on Havana she was swinging in Selah's swing. I had to laugh and thought, "this is what I get for not watching all the kiddos closely." :) 

I love being a mommy and received such an incredible compliment the other day. I was with a friend and she said that she loved my parenting style because I never yelled at my children and used positive praise rather than negative talk. She said she could tell I enjoyed being a mother. That made my heart sing because that is how I want to be known. I work really hard not to raise my voice and I don't want to fall into a habit of being critical towards my children. I want to have children who know I delight in being their mother and my friend's comments sent me soaring and I was thankful for the encouragement.

However, the Lord taught me a powerful lesson this week regarding the way I think about my children. I've always seemed to struggle when people around me complained about being a mom. I know it is a tough job, but I wouldn't want any other job... I can't imagine telling my kids they are driving me nuts or that I need a break from them. Sure, I have moments when I feel that way (or for me it is more that I feel like I want a date with my husband more than a break for myself :) but I quickly look at my babies and think back to our journey on becoming parents and suddenly my complaints pale in comparison to my blessings. I struggle when women talk about birth control (everyone knows how I feel about medical contraception (ha) but I do understand the need to be responsible and that not everyone is called to have a big family so I don't mean it in that way, but more when they talk about it as in "I better not have another kid, they drive me crazy" kind of way).  I wouldn't wish infertility or miscarriages on ANYONE ... but at the same time, I'm thankful for what they taught me... I'm thankful that Jason and I try to cherish each moment and look at children as blessings from the Lord and not a burden. Yet, the Lord recently called to my attention that I have been talking a lot about "won't it be nice when..." -- Won't it be nice when my kids can all play with each other, won't it be nice when they can all swim and we can go to the pool and I can relax instead of making sure someone isn't drowning, won't it be nice when the kids can play by themselves in the back yard and I can sit and have a conversation with my husband, etc. I'm not complaining about my kids, but I'm not celebrating in the "now" -- this is a humbling lesson for me to swallow since I've been so careful as not to complain about motherhood, but is wishing them to be a little more self-sufficient isn't that different from complaining. Yikes! So, I'm striving to enjoy each moment, each stage, and to watch my thoughts and redirect them when I think "won't it be nice when..."  So thankful for the Lord's loving conviction, but please keep me accountable if you hear me mention something about it being nice in the future... because I know old habits die hard! 

As always, thanks for providing me a place to brag about my children and also share my struggles! I enjoy blogging although I do it so infrequently these days. :)