Hm, since my last post we've had really horrible moments and really wonderful, sweet moments. So is the life, I guess.

Monday the house issues really became very stressful. As I mentioned before about the tax bill... well, it is a mess. Apparently the sellers did pay something at the closing, but the title agency didn't figure the taxes correctly and so misquoted them a figure. Long story short - the title agency, while seeing the error, says it isn't their responsibility to fix it. The seller's said they paid what they were told to and are done with it. Leaving us with a nice, hefty, tax bill from a year we didn't even own the house. This ate up a lot of our emotional energy on Monday and Tuesday. We called everyone we could to seek advice and to get someone to step up to the plate and rectify the situation. We had to decide if we wanted to seek lawyers in the matter, but we have chosen not to go down that route. I struggled with anger for a little while because it feels wrong to have to pay the bill, but my husband has finally reached a peace. I'm so proud of him. He said that we prayed for God to lead us to the house He wanted us at and he still feels confident this house is it. While we've had a lot of headaches, we are thankful for the house and we want to represent His name well. I'm proud of my husband's leadership, self control, and wisdom. I feel bad he is having to deal with all of this. Once he finally came to the conclusion on Tuesday night that he'll have to pay the bill - his spirits seemed to lift. It was a stressful two days.

The Lord is so faithful. It is true what the Bible says, "Weeping may last for an evening, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5). He granted us with very sweet times together on Wednesday and today. Wednesday Jason worked during the day, but my time with the children at home was our typical play filled day. Jason came home and I was amazed by the way he just brings laughter into the home when he comes in! We packed everyone up and took them to a park. At home we ate a nice family dinner and truly laughed. You know, there was nothing about Wednesday that was extra special, but I almost felt as if we were on vacation because of how relaxed and joyfilled we were. Truly, a gift from the Lord after a stressful few days.

This morning His goodness continued. We took a family trip to the zoo. As many of you know, zoos rank high on my list of favorite places. Even before we had children, we would go to zoos on vacation and I had a membership to the local zoo. So, I am always excited about a trip to the zoo, but this morning the Lord gave us little love gifts in the animals. First, the weather was perfect and the zoo was not very crowded. Then, all the animals were very active. The baby giraffe was literally running around chasing the birds. It was a funny sight that made us laugh, but also it was neat to see a giraffe run! The playful energy of the baby giraffe brought a smile to our faces and warmth in our hearts. I'm sure reading this it sounds simple, but it was truly a love gift from the Lord. Yet, it gets better. We head to visit the gorillas. There was one gorilla sitting very close to the glass so we have Havana get out to "play" with it. The Gorilla seemed unimpressed by Havana and Havana seemed unimpressed with the gorilla. I thought perhaps the gorilla would like to look at a book I had brought along, but it didn't do more than just look. Then I decide to get Jonah out of the stroller. Oh. My. Goodness! The Gorilla became infatuated with Jonah on a maternal level. She would follow us, put her hands and arms on the glass trying to get Jonah, she kept looking at him. Other children tried to come up and see the gorilla, but she would ignore them and look around them to see Jonah. We stepped to the left, she stepped to the left. We stood there for about 20 minutes. Jason and I were in awe. It was a very surreal moment, but a special time for our family. Once we packed Jonah up the gorilla sulked away from the glass turning her back to all the other onlookers. Perhaps you might consider us lucky to have gone when the animals were so active, but I consider it a love token from the Lord. I believe He was blessing us for our obedience to Him in the midst of stressful times. Oh how great our God is.

Room time has continued to go well the past few days. The children are now staying in their rooms almost 15 minutes. Yesterday I told Havana it was time for room time and she ran to get her baby gate out. Such a difference. It isn't a time of confusion or anxiety anymore. I'm sure she doesn't enjoy playing by herself, but she does it. Yesterday I went in to get Jonah and it was one of those moments that captures my heart -- He was holding onto a duck animal that is in his crib. He had reached for it himself during room time and was holding it when I came in. So cute. He didn't want to let go of it so I let him carry it around for a while. He's such a sweet boy.

Yesterday I was able to play peek-a-boo with him for the first time and he loved it. Giggling like crazy. It was another one of those moments I never want to forget. He is such a sweetheart. He enjoys just hanging out, but once he sees our faces, he'll break out into a wide smile. What joy in his heart. I love it. I'm excited to see what God is going to do through him. Jason told me he has a burden to pray for Jonah much more than he ever had for Havana... makes me wonder what special things the Lord has in store for the little man in my life. I pray he is sweet and polite, unafraid of the gospel, and a fierce defender of purity. For Havana, I pray her heart always belongs to the Lord. I pray that she never struggles with self worth issues and that she never, ever settles for a man who doesn't love Jesus with his whole heart and a man who would never compromise her purity. She is worth more I hope she knows that. She is worth waiting for. So is Jonah. But that is a whole different can of worms... :)

This afternoon we had speech therapy. Elizabeth says that Havana is making great improvements. She is intentionally saying "Mom-mom" now instead of it just being a sound. She knows it means me. She also understands the terms "use your words" - we say that when we want her to actually try to say something. When we tell her to say "baby" she will sign baby, but when we tell her to use her words to say baby she will say "bebe" -- she knows a handful of words (snack, go, purple, mom-mom, notebook, bye bye)and more signs than I ever thought a little girl would know. I do like how she can ask me specifically for things now that we're getting more advanced with our signs. Elizabeth told me today that she wished she could multiply me and have all mothers as involved and dedicated as I am. That was undeserved, but still an honor to hear.

Tonight I had one of those moments with havana where my heart said, "remember this" - after dinner I was cleaning up and she was just hanging out in the kitchen with me. I have my back to her and when I turn around I see that she is looking at her reflection in the oven and she was doing all of her signs. I saw her do dada, mom-mom, baby Jonah, thank you, please, and dog. How precious. How sweet. I don't know what she was thinking or why she felt compelled to watch herself do her signs, but I loved it. A moment I don't want to forget. Ugh, darn those moments that make me cry! :)

As I continued to clean up the kitchen I started thinking about how great my daughter is. She is pretty good about first time obedience... some people say I'm hard on her, but I'm not... I have decided to fight battles with her now that I'm the boss rather than later. She really doesn't throw many temper tantrums, etc. As I'm sitting there thinking about how great everything is... my pure, sweet little daughter runs up and BITES my leg. OUCH! That is her new thing. She hasn't bitten me, but I know she has bitten Jason. Wow, it hurt and was a nice crash landing into reality that my daughter is not the perfect little angel my mind was tricking me into believing. I get down in her face and tell her no, she laughs, I hold her hands down by her side and say no again, she continues to laugh, I spank her bottom, she still laughs. So I lock her in her high chair and she begins to cry. I keep repeating "No Biting. No Biting" and then I push her chair into the corner and go back to the dishes. She is crying and signing sorry, but I make her stay there for one minute. Then I get her out, make her look me in the eye and say she is sorry, but then I explain to her that she is not allowed to bite, but that I still love her and treasure her. I also told her if she bites me again, she is going back in the chair.

The high chair was a new thing for me. We've tried putting her in the corner and she loves it. In fact, she will often put herself in the corner whenever I tell her no and laughs the entire time. It has gotten to the point that she puts herself in the corner and i really have no idea why she is there. I didn't see her do anything bad. Guess she just likes it. Clearly that won't be a way to teach her right from wrong. So in my haste to get her to understand that biting is wrong because she was clearly laughing at everything else I tried... we did the chair. We'll see if it works. I'll keep you posted. :)

Please continue to be praying for the book process. It is still undergoing theology review. I truly need this entire thing covered in prayer and so would appreciate any you might say for the book and those who might read it. Thanks, my friends. :)

Good Weekend!

Well, room time on Saturday was a success. I went in to see her after she stayed in her room for 12 minutes... no crying... but I did see she had found her paci from her crib and put it in her mouth. But, I'm okay with that.

After room time on Saturday we played for a bit and then went to church as a family. This was the 2nd week in a row I dropped both Havana and Jonah off at the nursery... and it was the 2nd week we did not get paged out at all! Yay! How refreshing church has become. Looking back I see how we were really at our breaking point. For 21 months we would drive to church with dread knowing we had to drop our daughter off, only to get paged out, and then chase her around church. We didn't look forward to church, we dreaded it. It exhausted us and didn't refresh us. It has only been a few weeks now and we can already tell such a huge difference in our attitudes because of being able to go to church together.

Sunday was an equally good day. We were able to have a nice relaxing morning. Room time went well again! She actually played with her toys for 7 minutes before throwing them over the gate, but no crying at all. We are so proud. I found myself in one of those moments where I had to submit to Jason's lead. I told him how I had made H stay in her room for 12 minutes on Saturday and he said if she had not thrown her toys out of her room by 8-9 minutes that we should really go in and praise her for playing the entire time. I didn't really like that idea, I wanted the 12 minute break, but he's the boss. So I told him that sounded like a good plan. I love the moments when I'm choosing to submit to his leadership and it is something I have to wrestle with... growth for me! :) However, as I said before, she started throwing her toys out after 7 minutes. So we just went to get her at the 12 minute mark.

For some reason, her nap time on Sunday was incredibly long which was wonderful because it gave us all a chance to take a nap! Once everyone was up, we started to get ready for an evening church service we were going to check out. I was meeting some old college friends, who I haven't seen in over 5 years, and it was good. My husband scored some major points by chasing Havana around not only during church, but for the hour and half after church where I sat at the table and talked with old friends. I laughed, and he ran around after a one year old locked in hot gym! I really really appreciated all that he did so that my evening way enjoyable. He's such a good husband and daddy.

This morning, Monday, we took Havana to her first gymnastics time at a local gym. Let's just say that it wore Jason and myself out. This girl has absolutely NO FEAR. None. And no caution either. This gym has a huge enclosed slide that lands on a trampoline. Havana did the slide no less than 50 times in the hour that we were there and she would go down the slide violently coming out head first, rolling down on her side, or whichever way. Scared us to death, but she didn't care at all. She was on a three foot high mount and just stepped off of it as if it were just another step in the house. Oh my goodness. I was glad to have a place for her to channel all her energy... she has lots of pent up energy, but boy, did that place just show us how fearless our daughter is. She is a dare devil and I know she will love roller coasters as she gets older.

After gymnastics we brought her home for room time. She did great! This was the first day ever that she didn't get sad when she knew what was coming. She waved goodbye and did the sign for "I Love You" as she continued to play. She didn't even run to get her paci. She stayed in there for 12 minutes without crying, but she still threw toys over the gate. Perhaps she'll slowly learn to actually play with the toys in her room, but at least she knows what room time is and knows that we come back to get her. I'm glad we're starting room time off with Jonah from such a young age.

There were a few down moments over the weekend... I was reading to H and I pointed to a picture of a moon and I asked if she could say moon. She made my same inflections that I did, but not a sound that could be understood. My heart broke again in that moment. I don't know why her speech delay is hitting me hard right now, but I wanted to cry. How much of my little girl do I not know because she can't tell me? What gifts and talents does she possess that we have not been able to encourage? She went on about the book with a happy face which just made me want to cry all the more. She loves life, she is such a happy girl. I want her to stay that way so I need to make a point to not talk about her speech delay in front of her.

I was talking to Jason about it when she was down for a nap and he said that it might be years before she starts speaking to a point we can understand her. Years! My poor little girl. That night I had a dream that she went to Kindergarten. She was walking around the classroom using her signs and no one knew what she was saying. I sobbed. I'm crying now thinking about the dream.

I have to continually tell myself that this is how God made her. He doesn't make mistakes, He designed her perfectly. While she might have "flaws" to the human mind, those flaws can be used by Him to teach us things about Himself and to show His goodness through them. God doesn't make mistakes, He is very purposeful. He created and designed her to be exactly who she is... and I love that. I need to be better about reminding myself about it when my heart gets sad.

Also, of course, we have more house drama! We received a bill for the 2009 taxes on the house. We didn't buy the house until May 2010 and the 2009 taxes were supposed to be paid off by the sellers at closing. Apparently they weren't. Jason is down at the court house right now trying to work it all out. He will follow up that visit by driving to our Realtor's office to have a nice, stern talk with him. We called him last week when all the water damage came out and he has yet to return our calls. Ugh! It has been one big, fat mess after another. Finally today Jason and I sat down and prayed over the house, dedicating it to the Lord. I know I mentioned doing that on Saturday, but we never did it. Sometimes I'm so ashamed at how prayer times can just get shoved to the back burner. Working on that! :)

While both kids are down for their afternoon naps, I think I'll take a quick nap too! I really appreciate the people who read this blog. I don't feel like I have much to say that would an interesting read for anyone, but I appreciate a place to type out our crazy lives... :)

Room Time Breakthrough!!!!

Okay, so I am writing this during the kid's roomtime! Havana is NOT crying!!!! She is still throwing her toys over the gate, but she is NOT CRYING. She teared up a little bit when she saw what was happening, but I kept telling her it would be okay and that I loved her and she hasn't cried once since I walked away. She is only on minute 4, so tears might still come, but I'm so thrilled that she isn't crying!!!!! Today is the week mark - she has had 10 minutes of room time every day for a week now and this is her first time not to completely melt down. Yay! Praise God! Thank you guys for your prayers for her! I'm going to make her stay in there 12 minutes today, in hopes that it can be 15 minutes by the end of the week. But, perhaps I am being a little too optimistic. :) Now we'll see if this has helped her tonight when it comes time to put her in the nursery at church!

In other news, our house... seriously... last night we realized that our irrigation system must have a busted pipe because we were leaking gallons of water all through our yard and down the street. Jason was very disappointed. It seems like every week something, of major expense, goes out in our house. Jason said that while he doesn't regret buying the house... he thinks we will build our next house so we know the quality of the home we are getting and we can have a say in it. Last night I realized that we never really prayed over the house. Sure, we thanked God for it, but we never really prayed for His protection and blessing on it and we didn't bind Satan from it. I'm not saying all the problems came from this, but it really does help... so... I prayed over it last night and when Jason comes homes this afternoon we're going to pray for it together. Isn't prayer amazing?!

Quick update on the book... I submitted it yesterday, July 23rd. It is now undergoing theology review which they say will take 1-2 weeks. Once that is finished, it will move to the editing services. It is officially in God's hands now. I'm nervous, but at the same time excited.

I will write more later, but for now I must go get my daughter... who has been in her room for 12 minutes with NO CRYING! Yay!

Well, that was a first...

Tonight I made Havana laugh so hard that she puked! That's never happened before. I was reading her a story and doing some funny sound effects that made H laugh really hard. She asked for me to read the book again and so I did, knowing what part she really liked, and so I was sure to ham it up. But then I looked at her and there was puke on her shirt, coming out of her mouth, and a sour look on her face. Yuck! But so funny. Needless to say, we had to hop right in the bath to get her all cleaned up before bed. I tried not to make her laugh so much after that. :)

Well, my phone meeting for my book went well tonight. I ended up purchasing a publishing package! It's final... my book is underway. I'm extremely excited and terrified all at the same time. Tomorrow I am submitting my draft to the company. Since it is division of Lifeway, it has to undergo a theology review to make sure that it is Biblically sound and a content review to make sure my sources are cited properly. After that the editing process begins. They are hoping for it to be available for purchase by November and on the shelves of stores by late December/early January. We'll see what God has in store!

I am very grateful to Jason who is helping support me in this dream. I'm always full of big dreams... I want to be vice president, an actress, and now an author. He's so supportive. He always laughs that I am an "All or None" type person. "Go Big or Go Home." It's true... but I know to him my dreams might be out of reach, but he supports me anyway. I love him! As he was leaving for work he kept calling me "author Dugger" saying he was my biggest fan, wanting to know if I would autograph his book, etc. He's so sweet.

Room time went as expected today. She still cried the whole time. Poor girl. Maybe one day she'll actually play with the toys instead of throwing them over the gate. Back at it again tomorrow.

Speech Therapy went very, very well today! I was so proud of my baby girl. She literally sat down and focused the entire time! Normally we have to keep changing what toy we play with or what room we are in, but not this time. She was very focused and tried to speak every sound that Elizabeth asked her to say. I was so proud! She did many new signs too including "mouse" "green" and "wait."

Jonah has a cd that he listens to at night and one of the verses says, "A God given gift is wrapped up in you, you show more of Him than I'll ever teach you." How true! My children show me more of God than I'll ever teach them! Life is such a miracle and blessing. I pray daily my kids know and love Jesus as they grow up in this harsh world!

The past few days have been much better than Monday! Yesterday was a fairly low key day... Jason had to work and I stayed home with the kiddos. We just played. I had to do room time with Havana by myself. That was rough. I told her while we were downstairs in the playroom that we needed to head upstairs and have Room Time. That's all I said and she started crying. Once I got her upstairs she tried to hide in our room. Talk about ripping my heart out. So, I get her room set up with music and her special toys and then go and get her out of our room. She is crying and so I place her on my lap and say, "Let's talk about this..." I explain to her that she is having room time as a chance to play in her room by herself. It is not because I am mad at her or do not love her. I point out how Jonah is also having room time.

I got very sad in that moment thinking that she couldn't really talk back to me. How trapped must she feel? She can't express herself. I would like to know why it is so upsetting to her so I can talk it over with her, but since I don't know, I just have to guess. Poor little girl.

She did the usual during room time - crying, screaming, throwing all her toys over the gate. I think her throwing things over the gate is her way of saying, "I want to play with these toys... but over there." I made her stay in for 10 minutes and then I went to go get her. It made me sad, but it had to be done.

Today's room time went a little bit better. I was doing her hair in the bathroom and told her that we were about to do room time. She started crying, but couldn't really run anywhere since she was sitting in the sink. I take her to her room where Jason was setting it up and then we left. She still cried the whole time, but it wasn't so much an abandonment cry as much as it was just her expressing her dislike of the situation. A cry that is much easier to listen to that her previous cries during room time. So, even though she cried the full 10 minutes, I still viewed it as a success!

This afternoon I was putting away clean close in Jonah's room and Havana was playing in his room too! I look over and she had put all the clean bibs around her neck. She looked very funny. When I told her it was time to go downstairs she took them all off one at a time. I swear she makes me smile just by breathing!

After the kiddos woke up from their afternoon naps, I was going stir crazy so I packed them up and we went to the zoo. For some reason, I didn't realize how hot it was until we were walking around the zoo. Ugh. So Hot. We only did about half to zoo before I decided we had to leave for Jonah's sake. However, it was not very crowded and so Havana was able to play on the playground for a while and then we got to visit the gorillas. They were very close to the glass eating their food and whenever they dropped their food on the floor Havana would go, "Uh-Oh" -- very cute.

On the way home we stopped at the bank. I walk in with my two children and the bank teller is admiring them both. When she inquires about Jonah's age, she was amazed he was only 11 weeks old. Her guess would have been 5 months old (we get that a lot). She then proceeds to tell me that she thinks it is formula today that causes such big babies. He would not be that big if I nursed him. I politely told her that I only nursed him! Ha. He'll probably loose weight once I start him on cereal! :)

We got home this evening and we took Tucker out for a while in our yard. We are on week two of our invisible fence and I was very proud of him. Two of my neighbors came out to talk and Tucker stayed in his yard the entire time! He's so smart! Then I made dinner while Havana played at my feet! On nights Jason is home I always go with easy foods for dinner... tonight was Mac & Cheese with Broccoli. Both Havana and I scarfed it down. :)

I was thinking tonight about how impressed I am with Havana's obedience. Don't get me wrong, she still does things she isn't supposed to and sometimes she doesn't do what I ask the first time I ask it (which we are working on first time obedience), but overall, she really is a good girl. I've taught her that if she is done with her food, she gives it to me instead of throwing it on the floor. So tonight I had to laugh when she handed me every individual Mac&Cheese noodle that was left on her tray. Jonah was his same content little self today. He truly has captured my heart with his "whatever" attitude! He's a great sleeper, eater, and boy! I love his sweet snuggles!

I have a phone consult with a man from Crossbooks, the publishing company I'm working with. I'm very excited, but trying to get all my questions together tonight over which publishing package I'm going to go with. I'm very excited about this project and excited to see where God leads this ministry...

This post seems pretty boring to me, but hey, not every day can be full of so many adventures such as leaking showers and extensive water damage! Perhaps tomorrow will bring some more interesting stories... until then, goodnight!

July 19th. FAIL.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything that could possibly goes wrong... does! One of those days where you either want to push the "reset" button and start the day over or just push fast forward and get the day over with? Well, that was my day.

Havana woke up earlier than normal this morning which really had her struggling for self control all day. We didn't attempt room time with her until 11:30 and by then, she was already rubbing her eyes. Perhaps that is why it went so poorly. The minute she saw us getting out the gate; she began screaming and crying. It was very much like what she does the minute we walk into church. She knows what is coming. We still put the gate up, set her toys out, push play on her cd player, and walked away saying the same key phrases of "room time" "we'll be right back" and "we love you."

To say it didn't go well would be an understatement. It was horrible. She immediately threw all her toys over the gate while crying to the point of choking. It was so incredibly hard to listen to. After about 2 minutes Jason said, "Let's pray for her." And so we did...during which I cried too. We prayed for Havana to feel the Lord in her room with her, that he would calm her heart, give her peace, reassure her of our love. I wish I could say that she stopped crying immediately, but she didn't. She continued to peer over the gate screaming at the top of her lungs. We made her stay in there the entire 10 minutes. We need to do it everyday... just like when we sleep trained her...

When we went in to get her she was a mess. It took a long time for her to come down and she was practically glued to Jason. You couldn't peel her off of him for anything. Poor, poor girl. That was incredibly sad for both Jason and myself. However, I am pleased to announce that Jonah did great at room time. As soon as I turned on his little mobile he broke out into a huge smile and sat perfectly for 10 minutes in his crib.

As the day progressed, it continued to get worse. We had some plumbers come out this afternoon to evaluate a leak we noticed in the house yesterday. We were hoping it was just a loose pipe. Nope! Apparently the shower in our master bathroom wasn't installed correctly and has a leak that has dripped water all throughout the walls and ceiling of our first floor. The men said that the leak had been there for a while and that the home inspectors should have caught it. They also said our piping was not really up to code! So, now we have two holes in the drywall of our first floor, our entry way walls are streaked with water runs and it has reached the front door causing the doorway to bend. Their solutions: rip out everything in our master bathroom (tile and everything) and start over. Then repair the water damage downstairs. They even suggested calling the health department because while they didn't see any mold... there very well might be some.

I can't tell you how sick to our stomachs that made us feel. We still love our house, love the back yard, love the location, etc. But we were under the impression that this was a nice neighborhood and a good quality home. This is coming from the price of the homes sold in the neighborhood, etc. Our house is only 7 years old...

I am a little frustrated with the home inspectors... I noticed the water spots when we moved in and yet they never reported them in their report. They should have reported them and they should have investigated or at least given us a heads up that they were there. No one was living in the house when we bought it so they didn't appear between the time of the inspection and the time of closing. We have calls into them, the realtor, and our home warranty people. When we moved in the fridge wasn't working, then the air conditioning went out, and now we have to redo the entire front of our house. Seriously?!

The news was depressing. Don't get me wrong - we still love our house and the location, but I don't think we would have bought the house at the price we did if we had known about the water damage. Perhaps we would have gone with another house in the neighborhood... who knows. I still love our house, and in some ways I'm very excited about remodeling our bathroom, something we had mentioned doing a few years up the road... but still! Can we say frustrating.

Jason and I were both disappointed. It is hard not to take that frustration out on each other, but we were very united. In front of him I try to be very positive - saying I know it is a disappointment, but that it will be okay. I also try to be a safe ear for his venting. But it sort of cast a gray cloud over the entire day.

I was telling Jason that while I don't want to be selfish in this matter; I am a little sad because the money we will spend redoing our bathroom will cut into the savings we had to publish my book. Publishing the books isn't anywhere near the top of the priority list, but it is a desire of mine. Jason says that is not necessarily the case, but I honestly couldn't allow us to pay for the book while knowing the expense that this whole home repair is going to cost. Oh, home ownership... :)I am thankful for a roof over our heads and the fact we have other bathrooms we can use in the meantime while ours is out of commission.

While we were giving Havana a bath times tonight, she pooped in the tub! That is one of my least favorite things ever because of how gross it is, how gross it make the tub, and the fact I have to clean it up, clean the tub, and clean all her toys. But it was keeping in stride with the bad day.

As we were doing family devotions tonight, Havana snuggled up to me and her hair pulled out my nose ring. This has never happened. Ever. But it happened tonight. I find the nose ring and put it in my pocket. We tuck Havana in and close the door and once outside her room I look for the nose ring. Can't find it! Jason and I search through my pockets and the floors in the hallway. No where. It had to be in Havana's room still. We didn't want her to find it in the AM and swallow it and we had to make sure it wasn't in the crib... so we open her room door, turn on the lights, waking her up, and search. We did find it, but by then Havana was so thrown off that it made her going back to sleep a little difficult. She had a rough day waking up so early, being woken up from her nap time early because of the plumbers, and now we disturbed her sleep. Poor girl!

So, I'm ready for today to be over and we'll try it all again tomorrow, but before I go to bed... must finish cleaning the bath toys...

Happy National Ice Cream Day!!!

Of course we celebrated that holiday today... after dinner we packed everyone up (including Tucker!) and went to get ice cream at Grater's! It was lots of fun! We sat at a table right by the door and Havana felt it was her responsibility to greet every person who came into the store. She LOVED eating ice cream and after every bite would loudly exclaim, "MMMMMM!!!" and make a super silly face! She had lots of people laughing. While we were cleaning up our mess, she walked around the store with a Grater's Ice Cream cup in her mouth bumping into everyone and laughing uncontrollably. It was one of those moments where my heart was captured. I seem to have a lot of those moments lately...

The past few days have been a blur... Friday was a social day for me... I took the kids to The Ark at church where I met a friend with her kids. Then in the afternoon another one of my friends came over to the house and hung out for a while. I am blessed by such amazing women in my life!

Saturday we started something with Havana: Room Time. Okay, I know, she is 20 months old and this is a Babywise basic that you are supposed to start earlier... but it just wasn't a priority for me then, but boy am I paying for it now. Havana does not know how to play by herself. Sometimes she can entertain herself for a few minutes while we're sitting in the same room with her, but she needs us to be next to her all the time. This has got to stop. So, we went to the store and bought a nice (fairly tall) baby gate as well as some new toys. We put her in her room with her new toys and some fun music and locked the gate and left her alone. Now, I'll be honest, I was expecting a Scream Fest... she hates being alone. However, the new toys bought us some time, so it went better than I expected. She did start to fuss a little towards the end, but we only made her stay in there 10 minutes. After the 10 minutes was up - we walked in clapping our hands and praising her for having "room time."

We decided to get her after only 10 minutes because we want to work her into it and our ultimate goal is 45 minutes to an hour. We'll increase it by 5-10 minutes each week and we will do it every day. Today, Sunday, we did it and the new toys lost their luster (she only was allowed to play with them during room time - once room time was over we put them away) because as soon as we walked out of sight she started throwing all her toys over the gate. No crying, but clearly not playing... but she stayed in there for 10 minutes. Just have to keep pushing her...

We are not making the same room time mistake with Jonah! In fact, on Saturday, Jonah got his first room time as well! He did great! I put fun music on for him and put him in his crib with some toys... toys which he laughed at the entire time. He's such a good baby!

Saturday I was a little bummed because I had originally made plans to do Scrapmania with friends at the local Archivers (aka My Happy Place). I was very much looking forward to a night out by myself, but since we have still not been able to get Jonah to take a bottle... I couldn't go. Jason kept apologizing, but it wasn't his fault, Jonah just won't take a bottle. We keep trying -- every day we have made him try to eat out of a bottle, but it never works. We'll keep trying each day though because I would enjoy the opportunity to leave the house for more than a quick grocery run.

Anyway, Jason did his best to make Saturday a good day for me despite my disappointment. After the kids woke up for their naps we went out to eat at Havana Rumba, a Cuban restaurant, and it was very good! Havana wanted the lemon out of my water and so I gave it to her. She put it in her mouth, made an awful face, shook her head, spit it out, and then yelled, "MMMMMM!" And with that, she reached for the lemon again and the cycle repeated itself at least 4 times! She had me laughing a lot. Jason pulled out his phone to get it on video, but of course, that is when she stopped picking the lemon up!

Sitting on the deck by the water made me feel somewhat like I was on vacation! So Jason took the two kids and let me sit back and relax for a few minutes. I felt very refreshed even though it was only a few minutes. :) Then we headed to Saturday night church!

I believe I wrote about how last week Havana stayed the entire service in the nursery... well, this week was a little different. As soon as we walked into church - she knew where we were and she FREAKED out... Screaming, crying, coughing, etc. It made Jason and I so sad. However, we had to drop her off again... she needs to learn that we're coming back. We dropped her off, much to her protest, and then we did something we've never done before... we dropped Jonah off in the nursery as well! This was his first week there. Again, we're starting things a little earlier with him (room time, nursery...) than we did with Havana! Anyway, it kind of made me sad to give him to the workers, but he could care less. He just smiled. I looked through the window and saw them just put him in a swing. He's so stinking cute!

Both kids dropped off - Jason and I walk hand in hand to the service where we actually sit in the sanctuary. This is something we never do because we are always paged out. With Havana's ID in hand... we worship and wait to get paged... only the page never comes! Jason and I were able to sit in church without either child for the firs time!!! Wow! It was amazing! There was one point in the service when I literally jumped in my seat because I had been so engaged in the sermon I forgot to look at the child ID and I was worried the one posted on the wall was Havana's. It wasn't, but it made me laugh because I can't remember the last time I was able to focus so well on a sermon! Thank You, Jesus!

I also have to send an incredible thank you to all the nursery workers! I can tell they are really working with us and I can't even begin to express my gratitude. When I walked down the hallway to pick up my kids, I could hear Havana crying. Apparently, she cried most of the time, but still... she made it. I was very proud of her. I went to get Jonah and they just carry him out... he's just looking around and once he sees me he just smiles. Talk about capturing my heart. I was so grateful for him and his laid back attitude and just how content he was being passed around. I am so lucky to be the mommy to Havana and Jonah! Truly they are God's little miracles (as all children are...) and I'm humbled to be their mommy.

Saturday ended with us putting the children to bed and then watching 2012. We're so behind in our movie watching! :) Since we went to church yesterday -- today was a fairly restful day. We did room time with the children, we cleaned up, and of course celebrated National Ice Cream Day!! :)

Well, the air was out in our house for a while. Not terribly long in adult time, but when you have two babies, it can seem like forever! By noon time on Wednesday, it was so hot in our house that neither Havana or Jonah could take a nap... in fact, they were both sweating. Our dog was just sitting around panting. So, we packed everyone up and headed to Chick-Fil-A. I was very impressed with how well Havana did without a nap! We ate a long lunch and then let her play on the playground (photo in this post was taken after she completed the slide... she was so proud... and boy, does she know how to strike a pose!)

Havana had us laughing at lunch. Jason ordered her a chocolate milk - which she never has to drink - and so every time she took a sip, she would make this priceless face and very loudly proclaim, "Yummm! Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm!" She also learned how to sign for "grapes" when wanting the grapes out of the fruit cup we had for her. She learned four new signs this week: Grape, Help, Open, and Play. She is getting very good and sign language and I love learning it as well! Jonah has had us laughing a lot these days too! He is So vocal! He likes to talk to his toys and he enjoys laughing at Havana! The other day Jason got mad at Havana and Jonah thought it was the funniest thing! Too cute! I'll have to try to capture his laugh on tape, but we do have him on tape saying hi! So neat!

We spent the rest of Wednesday afternoon going from one air conditioned place to another -- Bass Pro Shop, The Mall, Petsmart, you name it, we went there. The men coming to look at the problem said they would get there between 4-6... however, they call at 5:30 to say they are at least 2-3 hours away from coming. He promised he would get to us that day, but said it might not be until 10 or 11PM! What?! There was no way we could keep two kids at our house, it was 88 degrees INSIDE the house! So, I ended up packing the kids up and taking them to my parents house while Jason waited at the hot house for the men to come. They did end up coming around 10pm and fixed the problem. So by the time we came home this morning our house was nice and cool! It was actually cooler than it had been the entire time we've lived here... so that has been nice!

Being in the heat made me think a lot about Cuba... we expect to get hot down there on our mission trips... we don't really complain about the heat down there because we're serving the Lord. Why do we, okay why do I, not always have that same level of flexibility here in my house? Why do I complain about it being hot; when I've stayed in hotter for longer? Why do I think that my need to be flexible in the heat only applies to mission trips? How selfish is that! Oh, how I battle my flesh daily - sometimes it just seems a lot harder and I feel as if I'm entitled to more than other days... working on that!

Jonah is still refusing to take a bottle! Help! We've tried every single day, but he still can't seem to latch on no matter which bottle. We are going to keep trying daily, but it is a little challenging for me. At least he can put himself to sleep 95% of the time because if I had to nurse him every time he needs to eat and rock him for hours to get him to sleep, I would be a lot more stressed out. One battle at a time... :)

Over the course of 2009 I sent out an e-mail once a week to some friends, perhaps you were one, and in that e-mail I would write out a challenge that the Lord was laying before me and I would also write out a prayer for us to pray for our husbands. I enjoyed this greatly as it helped me become a better wife and offered great accountability! I also loved keeping Jason surrounded in such specific prayers!

Several people suggested I turn those e-mails into a book and Jason also agrees! While this was an idea I originally shot down -- the Lord has really continued to lay the desire to publish them on my heart. I've been working with a Christian self publishing company. Now, the packages to self publish are more expensive than I was expecting, but they offer so much including a theology review and marketing! Anyway, I'm still a few months away from getting anything published, but it has been fun exploring and planning. Something suggested was that I start "tweeting" to help build an audience and to offer something to the readers while they are reading the book or once they finish! So, I just opened my twitter account yesterday. I never really saw the point or the desire of twitter, but I'm hoping it will be good. My name is loveourhusbands since the title of my book is going to be "For the Love of Our Husbands."

I will admit, this is only my 2nd day of "tweeting" but I have enjoyed finding Scriptures to pray for Jason. Since my posts have to be so short (unlike my blog posts...ha) it has been fun memorizing a short Scripture to pray for Jason and that helps keep "me" out of it and keeps the posts just verses to pray for our husbands! What an honor and privileged it is to be married and to be able to love our husbands through prayer!

If it isn't one thing... it is another...

The title of this post came from the fact that today our air condition went out. It was 86 degrees outside and right now it is 82 degrees inside. I guess I am a little thankful that this happened now and not a few weeks ago when it was 100 degrees by 10am, but still... our upstairs is a sauna. Our dog can't even sit up there without panting and yet that is where the kiddos sleep. Poor children. We gave H a cool bath and have her fan turned on high, so hopefully that will keep her cool enough through the night. We have already placed a call into our home warranty people and have a message with a service provider to come out and check things out, but who knows when they will come. Guess we'll have to find out of the house activities to do tomorrow. Owning a home is fun like that - we recently just had to fix our fridge because it wasn't working - and we have some pipes that are leaking. This home was built is 2003 and is pretty decent quality... so all these "issues" are a little frustrating, but I'm just thankful to own this home... it is isn't one thing, it is another.

The past few days I was feeling really run down - almost as if I was running on fumes. It didn't seem to matter how much sleep I got, when I had to wake up, I was dragging. I was barely able to function is seemed. Then I realized I was getting sick. Not in a contagious sort of way, but from a nursing infection. Mastitis, I had it with Havana and so I knew the warning signs... I've now been on antibiotics for 48 hours and feeling like a new woman! But Sunday and Monday were a little rough for me. Between the infection and gall stones (which are getting worse and not better...) I have come to the conclusion that I can't deny that I'm getting older. To which Jason responds, "I'm 34... talk to me when you are 34." :) Guess he'll have to wait 7 years for that. ;)

Jason doesn't really enjoy our age difference... I love it. Well, I love teasing him about it. Sometimes we will hear a song on the radio and I'll say, "oh, I loved this song when i was in fifth grade. I bet you danced to it at your senior prom!" :) Once we were out with friends and we were trying to make the point that if we had known each other in high school we would not have liked each other (more or less been attracted to each other). Yet our wording of that point came out in, "Jason would not have liked me in high school" to which our friend exclaimed, "Good, because it would have been illegal." :) Once when we were dating he used the wrong choice of words when he said that our age difference wasn't ideal. At the time, my feelings were very hurt, I asked him if I wasn't ideal. Was he just dating me until the "ideal" girl came along. He thought I was overreacting (me, never! :). So, now that is our inside joke... we'll say other's age differences aren't ideal like ours are. It makes us both laugh!

We love laughing and we were able to do a lot of laughing on our date Monday night! That's right... Jason and I went out on a date! That was the first date since Jonah had been born and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. I bought a new outfit and even put in a new nose ring. :) There was a slight hitch in our plans... we tried to give Jonah a bottle Sunday night and he wouldn't take it. He couldn't latch on! Oh no... we never had this problem with havana....

I was all of a sudden filled with anxiety. I'm pretty much prone to overreacting and I'm an "all or none" kind of girl. So, I started thinking I would NEVER be able to leave Jonah for the next year... that he would never take a bottle... then how could we go on our date without taking him with us... and if we took him with us it didn't really count as a date. Sometimes I amaze myself with how quickly my mind jumps to the worst case scenario. I'm glad Jason loves that about me. :)

Anyway, Monday I took Havana to the Science Museum again to meet some friends and Jonah stayed home with Jason. I was home again in time to feed him, so we didn't have to worry about trying a bottle again. Once I was home, I started getting really negative. Not towards any one person, but just a combination of disappointment from knowing I would have to take Jonah with us and feeling so badly that I didn't have any energy to clean the house up like I wanted to. I even considered canceling the babysitters, but Jason thought we should still go out. So we did... and it was great. Okay, maybe not the best date of my life, but nice to get away. My friends watched havana and they love her and she loves them! It was nice to get a text from them shortly after we left that said, "no offense, but she hasn't even noticed you are gone." That was nice. I also loved how one of my friends spoke truth into my life as I was telling her my struggle of taking Jonah with us... She said, "This isn't the last date of your life." So wise. So true! :)

We went and grabbed some dinner and then went to see the movie "Eclipse" -- which was good. Certainly it doesn't compare to the book, but it was still nice to see it on screen. I really don't like any of the actors who play the characters in the movie because I had them all pictured in my head in such different ways, but I think if you are a true fan of the books; then there has to be a small part of you that likes the movies. Anyway, I love that Jason loves me enough to take me to see that movie. He took me to see Twilight too - which we took Havana too (her first movie), so it was somewhat fitting that Eclipse was Jonah's first movie too. :)I ended up seeing New Moon in the theater with friends, but a couple of weeks ago Jason rented that one for us to watch together so that he would be caught up and ready for the third movie since he never read the books.

It went pretty well, there was a time or two Jason had to take Jonah out of the movie, but for the most part we were able to watch it together. Jason let me blabber on and on about the characters or what they left out of the movie that I felt was important, etc. It has been fun for me to be able to talk about the story with Jason now that he knows a little more of it than when I was reading the books. Anyway, after the movie was over we got some ice cream and ate it outside since it was a beautiful summer night. Overall, it was very nice to get away and now we're going to try and get Jonah to take a bottle so we can leave him next time too! Good thing a 10 week old baby doesn't really limit quality conversation like a 20 month old does.

Overall, I'm grateful that we didn't cancel our babysitters and can't wait until our next date. I already know where I'm going to take Jason for dinner that night, but I won't tell him yet - it will be a surprise. Jason and I like to say that we are "King" or "Queen" of Surprises and so we always try and plan special things for the other one so that we can have the reigning title of "King" or "Queen" of Surprises. To be honest, I think Jason truly has the title... I'm in a mere 2nd place, but I don't let him know I believe that way and still argue that I'm the "Queen" and he is in 2nd place. :)

Today, Tuesday, has been a good day. Jason and I woke up a little after nine which was before either child had gotten up. So spent about 45 minutes this morning to ourselves which hasn't happened since before Havana was born. It was actually very nice. We ended up waking up the children around 10am to get them ready for the day. My parents came over for a few hours which was a very nice visit. Havana was all charms for them! After they left, the children took good naps, and then we took a family trip to the grocery store. I'm so thankful to have a husband who pushes the kids around while I get all the food. Towards the end, H was getting a little bored, so I let her get out and walk the aisles with me. We called up and down the aisles for our food - "Tomatoes, where are you?" I'm sure no one else thought it was fun, but I did. I found that H was doing a very good job staying close to me which is something we've been working on her with.

As we were checking out, H saw a small box of goldfish crackers close to the check out line. She got them and then ran in front of the cart to put them up by the cash register. I laughed so hard and then was somewhat amazed that she was aware of how the system works. I have never explained to her the workings of the grocery store, but it just goes to show they really observe everything. I found her actions to be very funny, but I had to tell her no because she kept wanting to run from the back of the cart to the front, putting things on the conveyor belt. I figured no one else would appreciate he cuteness except for me, so I told her she was smart, but had to sit back in the cart! And yes, that rhymed.

Good day, but now a hot night...

Good weekend...

So, I guess I lost momentum when it came to posting everyday. I really enjoy it, but it is hard to find the time since I don't get on my computer when H is awake and when she is asleep I'm doing other things.

Anyway, this weekend was overall pretty great. Friday I met a friend and her two children at the Science Museum. I like the science museum here in Louisville, but it honestly doesn't compare to the children's museum in Indy. I do miss that place. Anyway, it was a good time and I was proud of Havana because she really listened and obeyed when I would tell her what areas we could play in. She tends to dart away from me and so we've been working on that, and I think she is getting better about realizing that she needs to stay close to mommy.

I enjoyed my time with my friend - she is pregnant with her third child and she and her husband want six. I love that because Jason and I also want a large family, God willing, with many children (both biological and adopted) and so I love when I can hang out with other moms who feel the same way. Jason and I are very open to life and have a lot of moral issues with contraception. Perhaps I'll explain our beliefs in another post, but I can't imagine looking at Havana and Jonah and then saying I don't want any more... they are so wonderful and add so much to our lives. It really isn't our place to tell God, "not right now, please don't create a life You want to..." anyway, I digress...

Friday afternoon I was able to clean our entire house - top to bottom - which always makes me happy. Sure the actual cleaning process doesn't always make me happy, but the finished result sure does. Then I made dinner and we had friends over with their two children. It was such a fun night. We feel so blessed to have this family as not only an example, but also just as good friends who are close to the same phase we are in life. Dinner was somewhat chaotic, but we loved every minute of it. The evening ended with Jason and I feeling refreshed from great fellowship with another couple who are trying to raise their children to know and love Jesus just like we are.

Friday was also Tucker's bday. Tucker is our much beloved dog who is now 4 years old. We lovingly call him our first born. He's pretty sweet, but somewhat spoiled too! He sleeps in bed with us. :) Anyway, we got him a cake and so we were sure to sing him happy birthday and give him his cake and his new toy. Not as thrilling of a bday as he has had in the past (this is the first year he didn't have a party with other doggies) but we still celebrated it. :)

Saturday was also a good day. We just hung out as a family for the most part and then went to Saturday night church. We love Saturday night church because it works better than Sunday mornings for us. To get us all up and out of the house in the morning takes a lot and so whenever we can - we opt to go in the evening. We have never really ever been able to put Havana in the nursery at church and not get paged out. So, in that regards, going to church has been a challenge for us over the past 20 months. They will let her cry as long as they can, but she always ends up getting close to throwing up so they page us. We keep trying and we make sure to talk to the nursery workers about her "SI" issues so they will be aware. Well, Praise God, we did NOT get paged out yesterday!!! We couldn't believe it. We walked in after church and saw a lady sitting on the floor playing peek-a-boo with a little girl under a blanket - that little girl was Havana.

The first words out of the lady's mouth was, "Havana is a delightful little girl." I almost started crying! I know this... but no one else really gets to see that side of her because of how upset she is. I sometimes feel that they dread us coming to church because of how "needy" Havana is. I know from working in the nursery that if you have one screaming child - there is a domino effect and you try to get rid of that screaming child so the others will calm down. And yet, these workers seemed determined to find what worked with Havana. The lady even said, "we just wanted to give you guys one entire service." And oh, they did! So refreshing... Jason and I both expressed our thanks several different times.

Havana never calmed down in the nursery room - so they had her out by herself, giving her one-on-one attention and love. How wonderful. I could tell they really got to know her because she said, "Havana loves to sing..." -- again, we know this, but most people don't. We were very, very proud of Havana and we are so incredibly grateful to all the wonderful nursery staff for taking Havana and giving her extra special love and attention to help us. Not going to church together has proved to make us both wary and drained. Going to church over the past year has been such a hassle. It is hard to drop her off, knowing she is screaming, and then waiting to get paged to go get her and then just walk around the church with her. I was largely responsible for that before Jonah and so Jason would get to hear the sermons. Since having Jonah, Jason has gone to be with havana and I've sat with Jonah - so neither one of us is really hearing the sermon and we certainly aren't going to church together. But, now we feel hopeful that we are moving out of this phase. We are also planning on putting Jonah in the nursery in August - so then we'll be completely child free for one hour every week and will be able to focus on growing in the Lord together as a couple! Praise God... truly a long awaited answer to prayer. We are aware that it might be a one step forward, two steps back sort of thing, but we are determined to try again every week, praying each time that Havana will grow to love church!

Going to church on Saturdays always leaves Sundays to be nice and relaxing. We hung out as a family this morning and now the children are taking naps! Not much planned for the rest of the day... other than playing. I'm not feeling super hot today - last night I came down with mastitis... again. I got double mastitis when Havana was first born and it was horrible. Thankfully, I know what it is now, so last night I started feeling the symptoms and this morning they were still there so we went on and started on some meds. I've also been having gall stone issues since Jonah was born and so my stomach hurts pretty much all the time. Funny how when you are a mommy and you get sick - well, you have to keep going. Ha.

The Lord humbled me yesterday when it came to my role as a wife. I went to check Havana into the child care and I gave her my info and then she said, "oh yes, I remember you from last week." I thought she was referring to how my daughter screamed and so I said, "Yes, we are pretty hard to forget." Then she said, "well, I remember you got really mad at your husband for "Vana" -- by that she meant that I saw where Jason put Havana's name as "Vana" and then I was utterly embarrassed. I don't want someone to remember me by my wrong attitude towards Jason. Clearly, I wasn't submitting and apparently I didn't have a very respectful attitude towards Jason. I apologized to the lady and then I apologized to jason. He sometimes calls Havana "Vana" and I sometimes call her that or "Vans" but I still don't like other people to call her that and Jason knows that, but if he wants to put her name down as "Vana" then I need to be okay with that. He's the leader and he certainly wasn't doing it to spite me... I certainly need to remember that and to make sure my attitude towards Jason is always respectful and submissive. Lesson learned... I hope! I'm so thankful for Jason and his grace with me!!

Speech Therapy Day

Thursdays are Speech Therapy days for Havana! In all cognitive, social, and motor skills Havana is either in her age range or above average, but her speech is so delayed she has the verbal communication of a 6-9 month old. That really breaks my heart. Granted, she is GREAT at communicating with us through the use of sign language and the fact that we understand her grunts and such. But, when they actually put a number on it (6-9 months) it makes my heart sad to think of her having such a delay. I wonder how much of her heart she can't share with us. If you ask her to point to a certain object either on herself or in a book - she can do that - so she knows things, but can't express things to us. Sometimes I just want to cry. However, we are doing all we can with her and have seen lots of improvements in just the past month. Anyway, I was a little nervous about this meeting - only her second with our speech therapist down here (who is awesome!) and just because of how sad I get when I think that Havana actually has to have therapy. Well, the Lord was amazing today and really encouraged my heart through our speech therapy session!

Our therapist, Elizabeth, is AMAZING! She was so encouraging towards me with Havana and even called me a "dream mom" and she said she could tell a difference in Havana since last week based on some of the things we were working on with her. She was also very complimentary of Havana (and Jonah too!). Havana warmed right up to her and loved spending an hour playing with her. She was even putting several signs together in order to communicate in a sentence and was making sounds when prompted by the end of the session. Elizabeth certainly has a way with Havana... and with me... she is very good and so encouraging that I was left feeling confident instead of sad. I think I'll look forward to Thursdays now.

Per Elizabeth's advice from last week, we've started doing "Mat Time" twice a day with Havana. This is supposed to help her attention span. We bought a Dora area rug and twice a day I tell her it is time for "Mat time" so she sits on her mat with her back to the wall and then I pick out a toy that she has to play with for three minutes. By the end of the three minutes, she is usually crying trying to get past me to play with something else, but I make her sit back down and play with the one toy or book I had picked out. Hopefully soon we can start increasing it to five minutes or so per toy. But, in today's therapy session, she did sit and play with the puzzles that Elizabeth had much better than she did last week, so I guess it is working.

That was the main excitement of today. I was able to sleep in until 10am - that is when Jason and Havana woke me up with breakfast in bed. So sweet... and humbling. Every since we have had Jonah, Jason gets up every morning with havana (she usually wakes up around 8:30). However, for the past three weeks, Jonah has been sleeping through the night so I don't really have any excuse for not getting up with havana, but Jason still willingly get up with her and then I just wake up when Jonah needs to eat (usually between 9-10am). Before Jonah was born, I was always the one to wake up with H and if Jason slept in a lot, I would find myself a little grumpy at him for it. If I ever asked him to get her up - he would certainly do so - but if I didn't, I would just get her up and them play with her until he woke up and would silently be upset that he always got to sleep in. And yet, here is my husband, on week 9 of working outside the home AND waking up with havana (last night he got home from work around 2:30am) and instead of being resentful towards me for sleeping in - he makes me breakfast in bed! What an example of Christ for me... I am going to do my best to remember this day and try and start letting him sleep in and instead of wondering "how long is daddy going to sleep?" I'll say, "I hope he sleeps a long time, he deserves it."

Personally, I know I sometimes try to play a "martyr" role. It is something I have to watch with myself because that is a personality trait that I DO NOT want... I'll say things like "I have to do everything." That's why I would get so upset with Jason for sleeping in, I would think I had to ALWAYS get up in the morning and do EVERYTHING. Which is not true, he helps out more than most husbands, but that martyr syndrome comes into play. Jason doesn't have that in him at all. So to see the way he handles me sleeping in every morning (responding in love and with breakfast in bed) is clearly and example of the personality traits that I DO want in my life. I'm thankful for a husband who loves Jesus so much that is helps him love me so well!

Moving on...

Jason loved the Monkey bathroom theme I picked out! I love that we have toys and juvenile things all over the house. I'm so happy being a mommy. We bought a Picnic Table today for havana - now she has a place to color and play as well as room for friends to sit with her for lunch or dinner. We're having two different play dates tomorrow - one at the science museum in the AM and then some friends coming over for dinner. So, best be going to bed so I can be rested and ready to go in the AM. This is the 2nd night in a row Jonah was asleep by 9pm -- would LOVE that to be his new bedtime!!!

Interesting Day...

Jonah has acid reflux and projectile pukes A LOT... seriously, I've never seen a kid with this kind of distance. Anyway, he was on a roll today causing me to shower and change my clothes twice, give him a bath twice, and clean the bathroom from top to bottom all by 9am! Fun morning! :)

I took the kids and met a friend and her children at a storytime in Louisville. We were home in time to have a family dinner with jason before he had to leave for work. This afternoon, while both children were napping, I was upstairs with our dog. I all of a sudden hear our door alarm. Everytime a door opens in our house the alarm system says, "Fault: Back Door Open." (or whichever door opens it names). It took me a minute to realize that Jason was at work and Havana was asleep. Someone opened our back door! I freeze, but then call jason and whisper to him the situation asking what I should do. He said to take Tucker, our dog, downstairs and see what is going on. On my way downstairs I tried to find one of Jason's baseball bats - in our other homes he always kept at least one under the bed, but apparently not in this house. So, I grab the swiffer duster that I had on the dresser from my morning clean. Okay, in hindsight I realize that was a pretty pathetic thing to grab - couldn't I have at least grabbed some scissors?! Anyway, Swiffer in hand I go down the stairs - still on the phone and with my trusted guard dog BEHIND me. All is calm, but the back door is wide open! I search all the rooms downstairs and come to the conclusion that the wind must have blown the door open. I'm still not super convinced how, but I don't think anyone was in our house, at least that is what I keep telling myself.

My mother-in-law came over for a little bit after Havana's nap time and after she left I bundled up the kids and went to Target. My goal was to buy things for the children's bathroom. Decorating our new house has become somewhat stressful for me -- I want a house that looks amazing. I also know that I have two children under the age of two and hopefully more to follow and so having "nice" things really isn't a good option for us seeing as we would just have to hide them for the next few years. Plus, I wonder where to start when it comes to decorating. I don't know what colors or syles I like.

Havana's room is complete (we still need to paint it, but we have her theme and know the paint color) and the nursery is also complete (again just need paint, but we know what we want to do). The other upstairs bedroom is currently a play room (it will become Jonah's room once he outgrows the nursery) and so I'm content to leave the walls tan and hang primary color paintings and such in there until we convert it to Jonah's room. So, I decided I could go on and pick out a theme for their bathroom to make it a little more fun for them and then when we go to paint next month we'll know what color we want for their bathroom. I ended up going with a monkey them and I think it is so cute! I got the basics: shower curtain and curtain hooks, matching towel sets, soap dispensers, and a toothbrush holder. But then I also got a really cute, rather large, monkey rug! I was pretty proud of myself. I found online matching monkey wall decals and so I'll order those and put those up after we paint. Anyway, I figure that will be good for their bathroom for the next few years at least.

On my drive home I thought about how there weren't that many people at Target for a Friday night. Then it hit me... today is Wednesday. I've been thinking it was Friday all day and I'm pretty sure I thanked my mother-in-law for driving over in the Friday traffic. Hm... guess my mind really isn't what it used to be.

Then, in keeping with the interesting day theme, I received a text today. From a number I didn't recognize with an 870 area code (after googling that I found out that is a AK area code). It said, "I will c u tomorrow." Hm, perhaps that is the same person who opened my back door?! I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out! Ha.

Normally Jonah doesn't fall asleep until close to 11pm, but tonight he fell asleep before 9pm - and Havana goes to bed by 8pm. So I've enjoyed a quiet evening in the house by myself. I put all the new things in the "Youth Bathroom" as I call it. Now, I guess I'm going to look online for a new comforter set for our master bedroom in hopes of coming up with our color and theme for our room. Ugh, have I mentioned how stressful this is for me?! Fun, but also overwhelming. :)

Blogging...

Okay, so deep down inside, I want to be better at this whole blogging thing. I enjoy reading other's blogs so much, but then when it comes time for me to type something - I don't feel like I have any thoughts that are really entertaining or enjoyable for others to read. I used to be an incredible at journaling. I would write in my journal every night for years with specific, detailed about what I did that day. Of course, those journals weren't published on the internet for all to read so I didn't really think about the thoughts I was writing down. Over the past few years I have become quite horrible at journaling and I'm realizing that while at one time I had an incredible memory - that is quickly fading with age. So... I want my blog to be my online journal. That way I have a way to write down special memories I might forget and I get in the habit of posting more on my blog... I do know that my day to day life and my thought life really aren't going to be interesting to very many people, but what the heck, I'm going to type and post anyway.

Something that has spurred this on is Havana. She does things each day that I think are so funny and cute and yet by the next day it seems I can't recall what she did that was so funny. I don't want to miss the opportunity to type those special moments out in order to help me remember and track her growth. This morning I was folding laundry and she was "helping" -- of course, by helping I mean that she was undoing everything I had done and making the task take three times as long, but I love every minute of it. :). Anyway, I shook a shirt to get the wrinkles out and I look over and Havana stops playing with the shirt she was trying to put on(and by trying to put on I mean wearing as a hat) and shakes it out and then tries to put it on again. It is funny the things they notice.

Both Havana and Jonah are so much fun to watch. She has started giving Jonah kisses a lot and he has started "talking" and laughing so much. It is fun to see what things make him laugh.

Since this blog post isn't going to just be about the kids like the normal monthly update (remember I'm trying to get better at blogging and not just more frequent posts of the same thing...) I'll move on.

I had a pretty good day today. On days Jason is home in the morning he always takes care of Havana so I can sleep in. Today was one of those mornings and it is really refreshing to wake up on my own rather than a child waking me up!

I will admit that over the past few days I've been acting very "girly." I have not liked anything about my appearance lately... I really hate when I get like this... I feel as if I'm looking old! I don't like my hair, nails, glasses, clothes, etc. In fact, the other day I tried on all my clothes and literally donated anything that I put that didn't make me feel pretty when I wore it. Let's just say I have A LOT of room in my closet now. Ha.

Jason always deals with me so well when I get like this. I am lucky to be married to a man that I KNOW, without a doubt, that he thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world. I love that. The other day I said to him, "Before I had Jonah I was a size 4. Now I'm a size 8. You know what that means, right?" (I was meaning to imply that I'm going to need to buy new clothes) - however his response was a sincere, "Oh, so that explains why you are so beautiful." He's sweet. He also made me laugh yesterday because I was able to get my eyebrows waxed - a much needed task - and I was going through all the things I didn't like about my appearance and he said, "But, you like your eyebrows, right? I mean you have to like those - we just paid for them." :) I did laugh to that!

I love laughing. My favorite is the big belly laugh where I can't breath and end up with not only hurting sides, but a case of the hiccups. You know I've enjoyed myself if I hiccup after laughing. :) Jason makes me laugh pretty much all the time - even when I'm upset with him. Last week we were on each other's nerves (well, he was on mine and I'm assuming I was on his as well...) and we were in our bathroom brushing our teeth and he said something that annoyed me and so I snapped, "well, I'm glad we are friends tonight." He said, "Oh, me too! I'm feeling very friendly. I like being friends." His tone was playful and it made me laugh. :) He's a funny man and I love that when we're in our 80s, he'll still be making me laugh! Yay for belly laughter.

How's that for a different post?