Whew, a much needed update...

Well, my to-do list is over a mile long, but I've been slowly chopping away at it. On my list is to write this general update of what the past few months have been like on this journey called life. I also want to redesign and rename the blog... but one thing at a time, right? :)

US:

The past few months have flown by! January-April 1st we were busy with the Easter Pageant. Jason and I still aren't sure how we managed to be at church every night for three weeks with his work scheduel and our children, but it all worked out and our kiddos were such troopers! We were looking forward to some much needed "low-key" family time, but it seems that we're tackling one big project after the next. Shortly after pageant was over we celebrated Jason's 35th birthday, bought a van, and went on vacation. Yes, vacation was nice... busy... but nice. :) We arrived home and had less than a week to plan Jonah's first birthday party (pick the theme, plan the menu, set the time, buy the supplies, print of pictures of the past year to track his growth, etc). After his birthday Jason and my dad made plans to build a new playset in our backyard. It is wonderful and the children love it, but it was quite the undertaking from tearing down our old set to building the new one, clearing the old mulch, buying and laying new rubber mulch... all together it took about 2 weeks to complete (not daily, but off and on) and as I said before... the children LOVE it and we do too, but that project swallowed up most of May.

We had these grand plans to potty train Havana during Jason's 11 days off in May, but between the play set and working on other projects (planning, painting, and purchasing things for Jonah's new room, buying Havana a new mattress for her new big girl bed, clearing out our basement, sorting through and organizing toys, and having a massive yard sale - no easy task) potty training didn't happen! Oh well, perhaps his next few days off. :)

I think my nesting is in full gear because I can't... I mean I can't sit still for a minute. I'm going through old boxes throwing stuff away, organizing closets, and making a list for every room of things that need to be done before the room can be considered "complete." I know that realistically some of these things won't be done for several more months, but I can't help it... I need to know what I'm looking at in terms of having this house decorated and put together the way I want it. Although I know this is all futile because by the time we get around to doing some of those things my ideas for how the room should look will be drastically different. :)

As I made mention of earlier, we did finally decide on Jonah's "big brother" room. He is currently sleeping in the nursery which is the same color/theme/crib set that we've had since Havana was an infant. It is a gender neutral color of green with a Noah's Ark theme. In our current house Jason did paint an accent wall blue for Jonah, but he says he will repaint it pink if this new baby is a girl. Anyway, we have decided to always keep that the nursery and so we need to move Jonah to a new room. We have an extra bedroom upstairs which has been used as the play room for the past year... it took me a long time to decide on what to do with his room. With havana, I knew I wanted to do a pink and giraffe theme and that is what she still has and will have for a while. it is super cute with pink stripes (same color pink, but different finishes) and it is so "her."

Anyway, I didn't know what I wanted to do for his room. I considered buying a toddler bed and skipping the need to buy a third crib. Then we thought about going with a cheap furniture set, but when we read all the reviews they were all bad. So, we made the plunge and bought him an expensive bedroom suit that looks "boyish" and the bed transitions into a full sized bed so hopefully he can use it for the next several years. Anyway, while buying the furniture we stumbled across a cloth hamper that is light blue with a navy trim and has a baseball, football, and basketball on it. Jonah LOVES balls and we were thinking a sports theme and this seemed like something we would like (it is Little Boutiques Sports brand from Babies R Us)... so we bought the hamper, a matching basket, and a matching photo frame. We decided that we would paint his room the light blue (Jason did that last week) and then we are going to do one thick horizontal stripe of navy blue about 3/4 of the way up the wall (that still needs to be done). We bought navy curtains and a navy bean bag that has a baseball and football on it as well. I then bought new crib sheets (sports themed, of course) and a blue "breathable" bumper (my favorite type) for his room too. He already has a light blue changing pad so once his furniture arrives and we paint the blue stripe  his room will be complete! One we came up with a theme I became much more excited - although a little melancholy -  about his growing up!

We purchased Havana's new mattress and it was delivered last week. We plan on making the switch tomorrow. This is something I am very nervous about because 1. Havana doesn't handle change very well and so I'm worried this will greatly upset her. 2. We are skipping the whole toddler/twin bed step and going from Crib to full sized. I'm not sure if this is very wise, but it is what we are doing. Her crib transitions to a toddler bed,  but we didn't want to have to pay for the rails twice (once for the toddler bed and once for the full bed) nor did we want to buy a third crib mattress so we are going to take her current mattress and give it to Jonah). 3. Havana stays up late and sleeps in... I'm okay with that because I put her down in her crib by 8:30 and she'll sing and play in there until 10:30 or 11... I can carry on with my evening and she is contained in her crib. She has never once tried to get out of her crib and so I don't know if she'll be happy to sit in her bed for 2.5 hours if there aren't any crib bars to hold her in. I'm seriously looking at losing my evenings. Okay, I know not forever as I'll train her that she can't exit her room, but until she learns that lesson, it might be a rough few nights of her getting up and out of bed. I'm honestly considering locking her in there. I've had several friends do that and they say it works great. We'll see... I'm sure I'll blog more about that process which will begin tomorrow. :)

I think that about covers it for all the changes and transitions we are in the process of making. Our community had a huge yard sale last week and sold a lot of stuff! Our guest room was filled with old furniture and things and so I'm looking forward to having that room to decorate and paint now, but that will happen after the baby is born. We have an unfinished basement and Jason and I have spent a lot of time down there organizing it and setting up different areas (a play area for the kids, a scrapbooking area for me, a workout area for him, and a storage area). Like I said, I think my nesting is in overdrive. :)

Now onto the kiddos:

Havana:

She has really been making a lot of progress with her speech and in fact I would say a true breakthrough. It is so much fun to actually be able to carry on a conversation now with her! This all started around the time of our vacation in April and she has been exploding ever since. Sure, a lot of her chatter is still hard to understand,  but she is becoming so much more clear and is beginning to learn how to express her feelings, desires, and dislikes. :) It is now to a point where she will say, "drink milk please" and I make her go back and repeat after me, "May I have a drink of milk please?" And she'll repeat each word and she is very clear. It takes a lot of patience on my part because it is easier to hand her a milk cup instead of making her use her "big girl" words to ask for it, but when I am faithful in making her use sentences she does really well repeating them. She has gotten a lot better with some of her sounds as well. For the longest time she would say "gaga" for daddy. Now, she clearly says "dada" and she would say "gygy" for "bye bye" -- but now she can say "bye bye" with a true B sound. I believe this really has to do with us working with jonah. As jason says, a little competition never hurt anyone. :) At dinner we ask jonah to say the d sound, the b sound, the m sound, etc. and while we are prompting him to say it she will say it. I think this approach works a lot better with her because her speech had become such a stressor in her own life and if you ask her to repeat something correctly she would get very flustered. But ask JONAH to say something and she'll try to say it on her own as well. It seems to have taken the pressure off. Something else we started was having HER say her prayers. I will say her night time prayers, but make her repeat each word. She enjoys doing so and I try to throw in different words so that she gets practice saying different things. This also seems to be a very nonthreatening way to introduce vocabulary into her day. I assume that she is still "behind" but she has improved so much. It is to the point we can have conversations, she can say "vana sad," she can ask for specific things, and she can answer things. There was also one day she started singing a song... I realized she was singing the B-I-B-L-E song which I had yet to teach her. I asked her where she learned it and she said "Ms. Rita" (her nursery teacher at church). Now it is one of her favorite songs to sing, but she was the one who started us singing it here at home.  Another example is she is very into all her scrapes and bruises... she'll see one (no matter how old) and say "uh-oh" and so I will then ask her, "what is that?" She can answer with either "scrape or bruise" - I will then ask her where she got it and she will tell me (there was a bruise she got at church, but one scrape she got here at the house... for that one she will say, "Play outside" (meaning she got it when she went to play outside) and I will ask, "What happened when you went to play outside?" "Tucker" "Tucker what?" "Tucker knocked you down" "oh, that's okay because it was..." "An accident." I think to most people conversations like that (which that same conversation happens at least 4 times a day) would either get annoying or not be that impressive... but to me... it is something that captures my heart. I am communicating with my daughter! Gosh, I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Through her communication I have been able to see some really tender parts of her life... she loves the expression "hold you" -- She'll say, "Dada, hold you" meaning she wants Jason to hold her. Well, one day I went in to get her up from her nap and she was playing her a stuffed cat and she said, "kitty cat, vana hold you." I just loved how she wanted to snuggle her animals. She can also be pretty... let's say manipulating... when we go out to swing she'll say, "mama push baby" meaning that she thinks I should push Jonah so Jason can push her (he is a much better "pusher" than I am apparently :). But still, communication is key!

Along with her growth there has also been the addition to whining - something she's never really done before. If she can't get her way or you tell her no she'll whine the words of what she is wanting and say please in a very pleading voice. I will admit this has been a little testing at times because I hate to see her so upset over something so little (for instance the other day she melted down because she asked to listen to music and I said no and she whined "music, please... vana listen to music, PLEASE." However, I have to stay strong. I have to communicate that her whining does not change my decision and my "no" is a "no." Even if i second guess my decision in my head - I never want her to know about that. I read in a book once that when children manipulate to get their way they are acting foolishly... when mom rewards the child for giving them what they want, SHE is responding foolishly. I have to sometimes quote that to myself to make sure I don't respond to her foolishly. I don't want her to think that she can whine and get her way. On top of that, for the most part, she is looking out for only what she wants which is selfish and a sin... I must make her aware of this. We were in the store the other day and she asked for my phone ( which she calls "mama's hello" - she likes to play games and sometimes make phone calls :). I told her no. She began crying, "Mama's hello, please." Her tone grew louder and she was suddenly "that kid" in the store throwing a fit. I quietly told her... Havana, mommy does not respond to whining. You need to talk to mommy in a self controlled voice before I will talk with you." She gained self control and then asked in a calmer tone, "Mama's hello, please." I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, honey, I love you but I already told you no... so, no you cannot play with mama's hello right now, but good job gaining self control and using your big girl words." You know what... it worked! She didn't cry or ask for my phone the rest of the shopping trip!

Not that I'm always that calm. Actually, I've been struggling the past 48 hours with Havana because she has become very aggressive with Jonah. At first, it honestly started out sweet... she would go to give him a hug. However, she learned that if she pushed on him while she was giving him a hug... he would fall to the ground. This has become a favorite game of hers despite my constant correction to "be gentle" -- it is getting to the point that I can't really leave them in a room by themselves because I end up hearing a bang, Jonah crying, and I rush in to find havana sitting on him or holding him down. I will say this has truly tested me. Jason and I have made an agreement never to raise our voices to our children. We do not believe that scolding has a place in parenting and while yes, we correct them, we do so in a calm self controlled voice. How can I be telling Havana to gain self control if I don't have self control myself. Up until now, that really hasn't been a problem. Sure, occasionally I will say her name a little louder than I should, but Jason usually gently reminds me of my tone and I try to bring it down. Anyway, it has not always been easy these past few days to keep my voice low. It is to the point that I sternly, but quietly, will tell Havana that she needs to go sit on the couch and then i don't come to talk to her about the issue until I've calmed down. It is so frustrating to see her take joy out of being aggressive with Jonah and she KNOWS it is something she is not supposed to do. Once I've calmed down (and snuggled Jonah for a minute) I will go over to her and very sternly, but quietly ask her why she was being mean to Jonah. She can't really answer that question yet and so usually she just repeats "why" and I tell her again that I want to know why she is being mean to Jonah. I talk to her about why she needs to be nice to him and then I ask her, "Do you remember what mommy said she would do if you were mean to Jonah?" "yeah" "what?" "spanking" "yes..." and then I give her a spanking and make her apologize to Jonah and give him a gentle hug. All is good for a few minutes, and then she is being rough with him again. Which is why I have really been tested to not raise my voice. I mean, didn't we just have this conversation?! I have found that making her sit somewhere is the best for me, but I don't think it really does much for her. If we're watching TV then I'll turn the TV or music off and after she says she is sorry to Jonah she'll ask for it to be turned back on and I tell her no because she was mean to Jonah. But even that doesn't ever bother her. The spankings, the time outs, the no shows... nothing seems to make her truly sorry for what she has done. Not that I want her to be a basket case, but it would be nice to know I'm getting through to her. All I can hope is that through being consistent and calm... it will eventually sink in. Guess we'll find out! :)

Outside of speech and behavior: she is doing excellent! She is very much into playing with her little figurines or stuffed animals: she'll have them take turns, do ring around the rosie, or eat a snack. She loves learning, puzzles, reading, playing outside, and helping. Whenever Jason goes to get the mail or take out the trash she will run and say "vana help you" -- I was cleaning out the bathtub the other day and she got herself a wash cloth and started wiping it down with me. It was very cute. While we do things like that she will sing the "clean up" song. :) Other than being aggressive, she is a very good big sister. She has been much better about taking turns with Jonah and allowing him to play with her. I think she is realizing that he has the potential to be fun. :) She is also in love with the baby in my belly. She calls it 'baby in mama's belly" and she'll walk up to me and ask to see it. I'll raise my shirt and she will poke at my belly button and then kiss my stomach. She also includes it when talking about our family. When Jason is leaving he'll give me a kiss, Jonah a kiss, Tucker a kiss, and then Havana a kiss... well, now Havana will remind him to say goodbye to the baby in mommy's belly and so he will kiss it as well. Jason even said the other night in the bath tub (he gives them their baths most of the time) that she made up a song about the baby in mommy's belly. I thought that was really sweet. I often ask her if she thinks it will be a boy or a girl... she usually says girl. :) 

Jonah:

Well, my big man is amazing! He truly is such a gift. He now has 6 teeth and can crawl (even up the steps) and cruise, but he has yet to take a step by himself yet. He still loves his bottle and hasn't become a huge fan of the sippy cup, but hopefully we'll work on breaking him of that soon. He could play by himself all day and be happy, but he does also like to play with whatever Havana is playing with. It has been a balance of teaching him he needs to wait his turn and teaching Havana that she needs to share. There are those times when they can be doing things together and I almost can't breath I'm moved by the sight. When did they get big enough to play with each other? I also look at him in such wonder... he can do so much that we never let Havana do at his age (he tries to feed himself with his spoon, he colors in coloring books, we can play this fishing game we have...). I guess it is the whole second child thing where they are trying to do everything they see their older sibling do... but I'm sometimes shocked with how good he is at certain things that Havana is only just now learning. For example, for H's 1 year birthday she got this giraffe ride along thing (basically a tricycle) that she is just now able to ride and maneuver around the house. Jonah, at 13 months, can successfully put himself on it, ride it around, and take himself off of it! Big Boy!

His verbal skills sort of freak me out! He says so many things that I kind of wonder if he can really be saying them... I mean Havana is just now talking so to hear this one year old say things makes me wonder if I'm making it all up in my head. He can say dada, mama, vana, tucker, bubble, water (wa-wa), lion, kitty-cat, wow, go, bottle (ba-ba), and up. The only signs we have really taught him are "all done" and "more" but I hope to work with him on colors and such too! I feel bad, sometimes I realize all that Havana knew at one.. she knew her body parts and such... poor Jonah, I don't think I've stopped long enough to teach him nearly as much. I told Jason that I need to make a better effort and teaching him things instead of just hoping he'll pick things up from Havana. Poor kid, he's truly a middle child! :)

Jonah's firs time to crawl up the stairs by himself!

The only issue we've been having with him is physical. When he turned one we transitioned him gradually from milk based formula to whole milk. He seemed to handle the change fine (as long as it was in his bottle and warmed up). About a week or so after he had been drinking milk he began having major blow out diapers. Yuck! They were the kind you could smell two rooms away (no joke) and covered EVERYTHING. At first we thought it was a little virus or something... there was just one odd thing about it, his stool was white. I mean, white. We noticed around the same time that his appetite decreased a little and so we continued to suspect a virus. However, it never progressed (never had a fever, never spread to anyone else, etc.) and we ended up putting him back on formula. A few days after he was back on exclusive formula... his appetite increased and his stools were hard and brown! We used up a whole can of formula and then gradually added in whole milk. We tried to make an even longer transition period this time. However, a few days after switching back to whole milk... the white explosive diapers came back! :( We're not really sure how to take all of this and we've been talking to different doctors (sadly, his doctor has been out of town so hopefully we can talk to her soon!). Apparently, white stool is not good... it is a sign of no bile which can be a sign of something seriously wrong with his liver or gall bladder. They also said it is a sign of cystic fibrosis. So, on one hand I can read all through google on how a milk allergy/intolerance will NOT cause white stool and that it could be something very serious. That concerns me... sometimes to the point of tears. But then I take a step back and think that it points to a milk intolerance because it is directly in relation to when he drinks milk. So, I don't know. The doctor on call wanted us to bring him in, but Jason didn't want to do that. He said, "I get that all the time in the ER... parents bring in a child that has a weird symptom but acts/looks normal." He didn't want to do that to another doctor. They are going to look at Jonah and see a healthy kid. We just want someone to answer, 1. Does a lactose intolerance ever cause white stools even if a person has handled milk based formula, yogurt, and cheese just fine for months?  2. If so, how do you re-introduce milk? Continue half-half for a longer period of time? Try soy milk? (We tried soy formula, but the boy wouldn't drink it!). Etc. 3. Could this be something more that we need to be concerned about? We are hoping to talk to HIS doctor later this week. We don't mind coming in to see her, but we didn't want to see a new doctor who would look at Jonah and just see a tall/good weight boy and wonder why we were so concerned. So we will see what she says, but I'm praying nothing serious!

All of this did bring to my attention that I often pray for my children's health. Pretty much daily I'm praying for them never to get cancer, have a serious illness, etc. The thought of it is so unbearable that I simply pray my fear away. However, I'm not nearly as diligent about praying for their spiritual health... praying that they fall in love with Jesus at an early age. I told Jason that I need to be equally aware of their spiritual health rather than simply focus on their physical health!Always so many lessons to learn being a parent!

Baby Number 3:

The baby in my belly is doing well! Poor kid puts up with a lot of bending over and lifting! I haven't had too many complications or pains and so honestly can't complain! I will say that I'm getting more anxious about the gender. At first I was fine not knowing, but now it is eating at me. I've had so many dreams - some it is a girl and others it is a boy! I guess I think it is a girl, but I don't know... argh! :)

We have a boys name picked out... a name I'm in love with and really hope we get to use!!! We have no girl names picked out. There is a somewhat funny story, the other day I was reading my Bible and came across a girl's name that I really liked. I mentioned it later to Jason in the car and he really liked it. He immediately started saying what he liked about it. I was excited... had we found our perfect girl's name?! That evening I showed jason the passage in the Bible so he could read it for himself and... apparently I had misread the name. The name we both really liked is actually not in the Bible at all! To some extent that is funny, but to the other extent it is kind of sad. We talk about if we should still use that name that we both liked, but it would be void of any significant meaning... can you follow up Havana and Jonah (two names with two very deep meaning for us) with a name that "oh we just liked it"? -- I don't know. We have about 6 weeks left to come up with the perfect girls name... so we shall see.

Well, I think that is a lengthy enough update for one night! As always, thanks for letting me share about my family... I am so blessed to be married to jason and the mother of his children! God is so good!