5 month update...

Hey Everyone,

As I write this, I wonder if anyone still checks this blog since I have not updated it in quite a long time!!!! Oh well, thank you faithful followers! :) Havana is 5 months old now and is so much fun! She is getting so big, so quickly that I often times wonder where the time has gone. This past week was full of a lot of "firsts" - - her first time to ride in a stroller without her car seat, the firs time to take a bath in a "big girl tub", her first trip to the zoo, her first rolling over, and her first solid food! Whew, that is a lot of changes!! :)

Havana is a little chatter box and talks all day long (gee, I wonder where she gets that). She's a very smart little girl and it is so much fun to watch her put things together. She loves to giggle and to get (and give) kisses. Now that spring weather is getting closer we've been taking family walks almost daily and also the trip to the zoo. She loves being outside and looking at things... at the zoo, the giraffes made her laugh!

Jason and I are enjoying parenthood very much! Jason is such an incredible daddy. He loves her so much... the other day I woke up at 6:45am and Jason wasn't in bed and I noticed the nursery door opened... so I sneak in and look and Jason is changing little H's diaper. I guess he had heard her and went to check on her before I woke up. Anyway, as he picked her back up I saw him give her kisses and whisper "Daddy loves you, Little girl" and then he wrapped her back up and rocked her to sleep -- allowing me to get another hour or two of sleep time! It warms my heart so much to watch them together. She loves being her daddy's girl, that is for sure.

She also is in love with Tucker!!! Her new favorite thing to do is pet him and pull his ears. I think she thinks he is a big stuffed animal. She always smiles and reaches for him whenever she sees him. I love seeing that too as Tucker is still very much a spoiled baby in our house! Whoever says that your feelings for your pets decreases when you have a baby must never have had a Tucker!!! :) I still lovingly refer to him as our "first born" and together he and Havana are "our Children" - :).

A few weekends ago we were able to dedicate Havana at church. This is just where Jason and I promise to raise her in a Christian home, teach her to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, promise to pray for her daily, and also promise not to ever get a divorce. It was awesome and such a special day for us. I love my little family very much.

I won't lie, I still think about our adopted daughter daily... wondering what she is doing and praying that she will come to know Jesus as well. I will always love her as much as I love Havana and Elijah. I miss Elijah too and often think about being able to be with him in heaven. I love being a mommy and am in a really good place right now, but as I've said several times - Havana doesn't make me forget the pain we have gone through to get her.

In all honesty, I'm scared that adding children to our family will be hard. We've been trying to get pregnant again since December with no luck. I know Havana is young, but in our defense, when we knew we were going to have Havana we also thought we would be adopting a baby and for a long time we pictured our family with children 6 months apart. We loved that picture -- and we would still love to have two children close together - as back to back as possible. We still plan on adopting at least 2-3 children into our family, but we wouldn't be able to even go on the waiting list until November of 2009 and then who knows how long it will take to get chosen... so in my selfish/impatient way, I guess I dreamed of getting pregnant right away and then adopting our third and forth kiddos... however, I have learned all too well that i am not in charge of my fertility and that I can make all the plans in my head that I want, but that doesn't mean they will come to be. We are praying daily for God to show us what the next step for adding to our family will be, and until He makes it clear -- I'm content being Havana's mommy! She makes parenting a breeze!

Well, I'll pick a photo or two to add from her dedication, zoo trip, and her first feeding! Thanks everyone for your love and support. We love you all!