The Lord is soooo good!!!

In our excitement for Baby Dugger's arrival we have been doing lots to prepare. As I mentioned in our last post... we bought a crib and all the extras, the quilt clips we ordered for our theme quilt arrived and they are beautiful (handmade and special ordered to match our room). We went to Babies R Us last week to buy our dresser/combo changing table, but they were out of stock. Hopefully it will arrive soon and we can continue to make our nursery complete. I've also been studying parenting books and writing down the things I want to do with our baby (feeding schedule, sleeping, etc. ... FYI, I'm reading lots of books, but we're primarily going with Baby Wise and Shepherding a Child's Heart -- Great books for us!!!)

I say all that because while we are getting excited and able to look towards the future with great joy. We are also in the process of "guarding our hearts." I asked Jason if he thought that we would have a baby by Mother's Day. See, we have have three Monther's Day where we thought "this will be our last year not to be parents" -- each year it became incredibly harder to bear. This past year, 2007, we went away for the weekend, lots of friends sent me cards in the mail telling me they were praying for me during that hard time and they reminded me that I was in face a spiritual mother to lots of people. That helped a lot. I remember that night in bed Jason firmly believed that by Mother's Day of 08 we would have a child...

However, when I brought it up the other day he shook his head and said he didn't know. He said that he was done predicting. At that time I agreed even though it did hurt my heart... I didn't mean to, but I started guarding my heart a little more to the point that I didn't pray boldly.

This was made evident to me during a retreat that I went on over the weekend. Pastor Gary was talking about how Prayerless lives lead to a Powerless ministry. The context of his talk was on praying intently, boldly, and often for the ministries and the church in which we serve. We then broke into prayer groups and Pastor Gary asked us to pray and not a wimpy prayer, but a bold and powerful prayer.

My group was Lise, Laura, and Michelle. The three ladies that I spent the night with before and stayed up talking with them until the wee hours of the morning. They are all great friends who I love dearly, Lise was the first to pray and boy did she bring me to my knees. She prayed for me and my health and then for us as we wait for a baby. She prayed BOLDLY that we would get a baby in 2008. She didn't hold back, she took the leap.

I was in tears and very humbled at that moment. I was convicted that I was not praying boldly for Baby Dugger. Yes, we were praying for the birthmother and Baby Dugger's development, and ourselves. But we weren't praying boldly. Asking in the name of Jesus without holding back. That has changed in my life now. I am boldly asking the Lord for a child... and for one soon. I am boldly praying for His will to come to be in my life and that I will do all that I can to glorify Him and show Christ to others. Oh, how I fall short daily, but BOLDLY I am trying harder and praying more passionately.

I just wanted to share some of these thoughts. I certainly have more (you know me... I have lots of words :) But I just wanted to share how Lise's prayer meant so much to me and how it challenged me to let go of the hesitations that I carry around in my prayers. We are asking and trusting in faith that 2008 will be the year that Baby Dugger will join our family.

Love to all!!!