An Important lesson for this Mommy!

Jason and I have talked off and on about entering into full time ministry as long as we've known each other. It was something we talked about more often before the children, but we have mentioned it since. Jason is fluent in Spanish and so when we discuss which country the Lord might be calling us to, we toss around different countries in Latin America that might serve as our future home.

However, in recent months, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart Muslim nations. To be honest, I'm not sure why because I don't know much about the Muslim faith, but the passion is there. I have shared that with Jason and his response is that we should pray about it. As I think  (not pray) about it... I can picture myself moving there tomorrow, but I can't imagine taking Havana and Jonah. I focus more on Havana in those moments... thinking of what her life would look like and how it might be in danger and I think, "nope, I can't take Havana there." Then I realize that isn't that what God did for us? Didn't he send His Son to die for us and yet I'm not willing to move my daughter somewhere so more people can learn about Him?

I know that is true, but at the same time... it didn't change my mind. However, recently, I was talking to some people at church about this and they pointed out that I kept referring to Havana as "my daughter" -- they pointed out that really she is His daughter. Wow. She is God's daughter.

As I've stated before, Jason and I don't believe in contraception... we believe every life is special and a gift. I have always viewed my children as gifts to us from the Lord, but I have failed to view them as the Lord's. What a paradigm shift. How differently would I view overseas missions if I didn't view my children as "my children" but rather "God's children." They were His before they ever were mine. He knows what He is doing...

Driving home that night I was thinking about it a lot. These guys I were talking to also pointed out to me that there are Spanish-speaking Muslim regions in North Africa... putting Jason's and mine passions together. The thoughts were interesting and I was simply speechless. I finally turn on the radio and Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Yours" came on...  here are the lyrics:

I walk the streets of London
and notice in the faces passing by
something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
as I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
and they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing
of a God who heals and rescues and restores
and I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything
It’s all Yours

I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I brush by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man
and everywhere I look I realize
Just like the streets of London
for every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation, this is our Father’s world

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything

You’re the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords

I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you.

It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God
It’s all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God 

So, there I was, raising my hands and singling loudly that everything is Gods... everything... including all my children. I came home and told Jason about my conversation and the lesson I learned. I'm not saying the Lord is calling us to full time missions right now, but I believe He is preparing us for... something. I'm not sure what that something is... perhaps moving overseas, but not necessarily. I believe He is teaching us that our children are His children for something... only time will tell what, but I'm confident the lesson we are learning now will play a role in our future.